How To Strike Up A Conversation On The First Date

How To Strike Up A Conversation On The First Date

Meeting people for the first time can be an enjoyable experience, especially if you understand all about other people and how they like to communicate talk about and first of all listen. Here is how to strike up a conversation on text, on tinder, or on a first date.

Christian Singles

“What an idiot! He’s got no idea what to say … I’ll make something up and leave.” Is this what you think she’s thinking about you? I’m sure there were times when you ran out of lines and felt like an idiot, because “I have kept silent for over 5minutes now”.

My first tip for you, is not to put yourself under pressure to talk, and repeat to yourself: “What should I talk about? What shall I say? I will make a complete fool out of myself”. So, don’t start thinking about what you’ll say, by repeating the ME, ME, Me in your head. By doing this, you will not focus on getting to know the other person, because you are thinking about YOU, YOU, YOU! This is not the way to start communicating.

You will just take turns talking. So, here’s what to do:

Become An Expert Listener

This means that the other person is doing most of the talking. Listen, ask a lot of questions and remember to form new questions around their answers. You’ll see that your worries will go away. And here is how you get the other to tell you about them:

“What are YOU currently doing??” “Do YOU enjoy it?” “Tell me about this…..” “I hear YOU have been doing this…” “I love YOUR job description, what’s the best thing YOU love about your work?”; “I love YOUR jacket, where did you get it from? Ask question to get to know them and then ask some more questions, and then some more! He or she will love you for it!

Great subjects include work, siblings, travel, food hobbies etc.

How To Strike Up A Conversation

Ask For Their Own Opinions

When looking to strike up a conversation ask these questions and your first date could go on for hours on end:

“What do you think of…?” “What is your opinion on…? Have you heard about what happened to…? Isn’t he/she…?” Respect their opinions, without getting into an argument.Wait until they ask about you and then be brief and make them ask more questions this means they have too, been listening and are indeed interested in what more you have to say. Make connections to what the other person has said about them- this will show you remember what they told you.

Topics to avoid

Their past – Never ask about past lovers on a first date unless they bring it up. You never know things ended and your date may still feel hurt from a past relationship and it would only put tension on your date.

Their parents – Asking about their parents could turn out against you, especially if their parents are divorced or separated when they were very young.

Politics and religion – These are hot topics and when used in a first date, can be a real turn off.

If your date and you enjoy being together all will run smoothly, and once you get some laughter, you know it’s been a success.

This article has been contributed by Aishwarya Vohra from Offshore Ally. She is one of the many talented SEO link builders and virtual assistant of the company. She likes to read and write on the subject of human psychology, food and music. Connect with her via Twitter.

Looking For Love? Fix Up, Look Smart!

Christian Singles

If you’re looking for love there are a few separate methods you could use to go about it. You can go and hang out in bars every weekend looking for members of the opposite (or the same, it’s all the same to me) sex, you can go to evening classes, speed dating and dating websites. They all have their pros and cons, going to bars means you might meet drunk potential partners, your first meeting is a shouted conversation in the middle of a dance floor and in the morning you can’t remember their name. If you go meeting people at classes you have a common interest but not every-one’s there looking for love and relationships, some are there because they genuinely want to learn so you might put many of your best moves onto some-one who’s happily married with 4 perfect children, a perfect house and job and not even slightly interested in some-one who’s still hungover from going out on the pull the night before.

Dating websites are an interesting blend of the two; people are there because they are interested in making a connection but they’re not drunk, being chased by a herd of other people, deafened by the music or dashing off to the toilet every five minutes.

If you’re savvy in your selection you can find a great deal of people who you might want to meet up with but of course dating sites, just like any other means of meeting new partners, has its drawbacks and pitfalls.

There are the people who use very old photos of themselves, twenty years younger and as many pounds lighter. When they arrive at the date you think they’ve sent their parent in advance to size you up.

Then there are the people who say what they think people want to hear, the caring sensitive guys who have had one previous partner, have their own three bedroom house, a job which pays them several hundred thousand a year along with three holidays. When you meet them they’ve divorced from the only woman who’d ever have had them, they now live back with their mum and they’re regarded as being the dull one in their accountancy firm.

The problem is that when you’re meeting anyone in whatever scenario it’s necessary to invest a little trust in a stranger. You’ve got to increase the karma by being as transparent in your own dating profile as you can and hope that other people will be too. You can, of course, do a little research to make sure your prospective date is on the up and up though. There’s nothing wrong with Facebook stalking. Well there is but in this instance, where you’re simply finding out a little more about them any information that they’ve made public is fair game.

Some people worry about fraud and theft when it comes to dating websites too, although they really shouldn’t; fortunately for the Honest Joe on the internet the fraud on dating websites and other forms of social media is so transparent it’s laughable. Some people are so gullible as to be taken in by these scams but they’re the same people who still stare in awe at aeroplanes and shout at the full moon. If you haven’t ever seen one of their messages, they say a whole bunch of things that are irrelevant to your description of yourself and yet come over as very emotional, offering love and commitment very early on. Unfortunately for these poor lovelorn mites they live in a far-away land so if they’re going to come over and fall into your arms and the perfect domestic idyll you’re going to have to send them some money, oh, and their poor silver haired mother needs hospital treatment and of course that’s very expensive… If you’re still not sure they’ll also ask you to reply to a different address to the one they’re writing from. This is because they’ll have hacked a real person’s address in order to avoid detection. If you see anything like this report it to the site’s webmaster, they won’t want to risk getting a reputation for carrying such material.

If you do find some-one lovely, don’t waste time emailing them for week after week, you’re there to date, not find a pen-pal!

Dan Cash has had some patchy experiences with online dating. there are a few UK dating websites he’d use, and some he’d never touch again!

Is Social Media Destroying Romance?

Christian Singles

Facebook is great and we can stay in contact with all the people and give them a poke or a comment whenever we want. But is this to the detriment of the excitement we get at the beginning of a relationship as we can already find out a lot about our potential partner just by looking at their Facebook pages and twitter feed.

One problem is that if you look at the Facebook page of your potential partner, you already know a lot of the information about them and you don’t want to give the impression of being a “Facebook stalker”, which a lot of people tend to throw around quite flippantly. But really when you are taking an interest in what they think and what is actually going on around their life.

At the same time it is quite hard to find the correct balance of when you post something on your partners wall as to not come across as a love sick puppy dog, because it almost becomes part and parcel with becoming more than friends with someone when to display your affection through social networks.

The dreaded ‘relationship status’ is another social media relationship obstacle that I’m sure does more harm than good. At what point in the relationship do you change the relationship status seems to be the question that hasn’t quite been answered by many relationship experts. God forbid you display you are in an “open relationship”, that just screams out the wrong signals, so avoid at all costs.

All of this makes you wonder how it affects the start of any relationship and what thought processes go through people’s mind as Facebook and your friends start to scrutinise your relationship status.

It can also inspire jealousy, whereas you used to be able to be in a relationship with a sense of naive bliss, now you can’t go a minute without finding out some new girl has started at the work place or some guy making some inappropriate comments to your girlfriend’s status. Of course an important aspect to any relationship is trust, and more often than not our partners are deserved of the trust we put into them, but it’s natural self preservation to protect the one you love. Its natural instinct and is wrong to fight it, just remember there are levels of trust with any relationship.

We need to get back to the basics when courting and I don’t mean finding prospects at the local discotheque, real romantic gestures need to be commonplace again and we need to not rely on the ‘poke’ button as the building blocks of any relationships. After all, it won’t make for a romantic story when you are gray and old and people ask you how you first met one another.

Andy is working for a Unique Silver Jewellery company and loves his work. Follow him on Twitter andym23

Valentines First Date Tips for Guys

Christian Singles

That time of year is fast approaching that us singletons dread – Valentines Day. Every year on the 14th of February love birds across the nation suddenly switch to some kind of altered state of sappiness and any respect you once had for them flies out the window as they turn their attentions to writing slushy, clichéd, poetry in cards the size of a small bungalow in the shape of a fluffy teddy bear. OK, maybe I’m a tad bitter, at least I used to be until I found a sure fire way of landing that hot date on Valentines Day that means you’re not stuck indoors on your own like the proverbial lemon.

Snaring the Date

The first stage is getting a date, even if you hate dates and have had bad experiences in the past, it’s better to at least make an attempt than be stuck indoors watching Emmerdale farm while your buddies gaze lovingly across a candlelit table into the eyes of their partners. So how do win a date with a hot chick?

First, rest assured that the majority of single women are feeling the same sort of anxieties as you as valentines day approaches, they don’t want to be on their own while their friends are off having fun. But how you find these single women? The best avenue for finding a potential date I’ve found is through friends, one of your friends or even friend of friends is bound to know a girl in the same situation as you.

Arrange to all go out as a group and get your friends to introduce you to each other on what is essentially neutral ground, take it from here. By all means utilize a touch of Dutch courage if you need to but don’t go overboard and make a total fool of yourself.

If meeting someone in real life simply isn’t an option, use the tried and tested medium of the internet. Looking for love online is no longer a taboo, whether it be through Facebook or a specialist dating site. In fact most of my friends who have girlfriends met them through Facebook.

The Date Itself

OK so you’ve managed to convince an unwitting female to go on a date with you, so how do you get through those desperately awkward first few hours unscathed? It’s true that dates can be initially uncomfortable, but your role, as the guy is to try and break that ice and make you both feel relaxed.

Even if you already know your date, seeing each other in a romantic capacity can make it feel like it’s the first time you’ve met, If this is the case talk about the past and memorable experiences that you’ve shared, or mutual friends that you have, this will help create a bond early on.

If indeed you are seeing your date for the first time ever then things may be a little more tricky. Remember to ask her questions about herself, this will show that you are interested in her as a person and want to get to know her. If you are nervous, don’t show it, a lack of confidence is a big turn off for women, simply act confident and you will come across with vigor and bravado.

In terms of location, pick a venue that is fairly quiet and unlikely to intrude on your conversation, i.e. not the cinema! A restaurant may be an obvious choice but there is a reason, it provides the ideal setting for you to get know each other and relax without too many distractions.

Saying Goodbye… Or not

Ending the date can be a stumbling block for so many guys. The trick is not to go into all guns blazing, make sure she gets home safely and walk her to the door. There is no real script to follow here, you should know if she is into or not by the visual signals she is giving off. Here’s a hint, if she turns her back on you and heads straight into the door, don’t go in for the kiss, the date hasn’t gone well!

Joe is an online dating guru currently working for a personal car leasing firm.

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