To get from where you are to where you want to be, you need a plan. The same goes with marriage and relationships. Often, you need a plan to solve your relationship problems.
You know that love can take many different shapes and it’s not always a breeze to keep your partner happy and content. The first years of marriage can be amazing but after some time, you may start to feel squabbles coming your way. It is the sign that the partnership between you two is actually made of two distinct parts that need to be harmoniously balanced. When you overcome your problems your love gets more profound.
Unfortunately, intuition plays a huge role in most couples’ efforts to solve their problems. Instead of solving their conflicts by coming up with a plan, what they do is return to their primal instincts – demands and anger – in an attempt to fix things. These instincts do not just fail in making things right, but they also burn down whatever’s left from their love.
Restoring Love Or Solving Problems
I know there is no marriage free of struggle. Conflicts do not necessarily mean trouble or the end of the road. Every now and then, arguments enable the partners to express their differences in opinions and find solutions or come to terms and compromise.
Squabbles and fights come up because the two partners bring into the relationships two different worlds, different experiences, predispositions and expectations. This is why conflicts arise all the time, be in money, jobs, sex and a lot more. In most cases, couples believe that if they manage to solve their conflicts, they’d be happy again. But I’ve found that marriages can be amazing, in spite conflicts, which sometimes remain never fully resolved.
The difference between partners who stay in everlasting joyous relationships and those who regret the day they met is not in whether or not they fight all the time. It’s in finding their way back to each other and be able to restore their love. Restoring love is the most important thing in a marriage and having a solid relationship even after the fight is even greater.
The Love Bank
Here is a metaphor to help you understand how love arises and fades. Imagine that all of us have our own Love Bank and all the people in our lives have a separate account at our bank. Think of it as a way to track how others treat us.
When a person treats us bad, Love Units are withdrawn from their account; however, if someone treats us well, we link those good feelings to their account and add Love Units to that. When the balance is up, we get fond of that person and when it’s down, we feel the opposite.
So, love can be with you forever, if you just know how to add (and not withdraw) units from the Love Bank and keep depositing them. It’s that easy. All you really need to do is to keep the Love Bank levels above the romantic love threshold.
This article has been contributed by Aishwarya Vohra from Offshore Ally. She is one of the many talented SEO link builders and virtual assistant of the company. She is a nature lover who likes to read and write on the subject of human psychology, food and music. Connect with her via Twitter.