Why You Shouldn’t Stress So Much Over a First Date

You went out one night with your girlfriends and met this really handsome guy. You chatted a bit, and just before you left he asked you for your number. A few days later, he calls and asks you on a date. You say yes, naturally. But all of a sudden you’re a nervous wreck. This guy was really cute and seemed really nice – you don’t want to screw it up! Now an event that’s supposed to be fun has become totally stressful for you. Why do first dates have to be so nerve-wracking?

The answer is: they don’t. First dates shouldn’t be stressful, they should be comfortable and fun. Will you have a few butterflies in your stomach? Of course. But if you’re so stressed out that you almost want to call and cancel, it’s a bad sign. You should never stress so much over a first date, and here’s why.
He Already Likes You

If a guy asks you out on a date, it means he likes you. He might not know a whole lot about you, but what he does know and see he likes. You already have a leg-up. He sees something in you already, and all you have to do is continue to be yourself.

It’s Not as Important as You Think It Is

First dates are important, yes, but they aren’t as important as you think they are. Everyone gets nervous on first dates, and they rarely ever go perfectly. You can’t expect instant shooting stars; you just have to work on building some kind of connection. If he likes you, he won’t hold it against you that you used the wrong fork or said the wrong thing. The second and third dates are more important ones.

No One Else is Going to Care

If you do something embarrassing on a first date, in most cases no one else is ever going to find out unless you tell them. The people who really matter to you – your friends, family, coworkers – they aren’t going to be judging your first date performance. If it doesn’t go so well, you can move on and forget about it.

If It Doesn’t Work Out, So What?

When you’re getting so stressed out about one first date, what are you worried about? That it won’t work out? If it doesn’t work out, so what? That guy was just one guy, and he obviously wasn’t the one for you. It’s better to find out now rather than later. There are so many other fish in the sea, as they say, and you can just go on another first date with someone else.
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Here’s the bottom line – first dates are not worth stressing over. You are nervous, but he’s probably a little nervous, too. First dates usually don’t go as well as planned, and it would be weird if you didn’t have at least one awkward moment. Don’t let your stress get in the way of you having fun and getting to know someone new. Just relax and enjoy yourself. If things don’t go well, no big deal – just don’t have a second date.

Michelle Leigh is a self described fashionista who often blog and covers a broad range of topics from relationship advice to cosmetic brushes and style.

Photo Credit:  Tastino0 – www.tastino0.it

How to Deal with Anxiety Naturally

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The current figure of people suffering from anxiety is very alarming these days. There are approximately 10 million people in United States alone who have anxiety disorders such as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, phobia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and separation anxiety disorder.

The most common anxiety disorder is the panic disorder. Panic disorder is the sudden feeling of extreme fear and nervousness for no apparent reason. Panic disorder is manifested by racing heartbeats, chest pains, excessive sweating, trembling, numbness or tingling in hands, arms, fingers and legs, breathing difficulties, dizziness, feeling of loss of control and inability to concentrate. Panic disorder may last for several minutes and reach its peak within 10 minutes however some of its symptoms may last for a longer time. Many people who experience their first panic attacks may believe that they are suffering from heart attack because of these symptoms.

This is the reason why it is suggested to consult your physician or doctor when you experience the mentioned symptoms to avoid complications of chronic anxiety.  Anxiety symptoms may start during childhood years and early adulthood and when taken for granted and no prevention is done can make it worse overtime.

Many anxiety patients may turn to medications immediately to treat their anxiety. However, this is not the recommended and safest way to treat anxiety for anti-anxiety drugs such as Benzodiazepines (Xanax, Klonopin, Valium, and Ativan) have side effects and the feeling of relief the patients can feel are just temporary. It is always best to take the natural remedies for any diseases first and then take prescription drugs as your last resort when the natural way seems to not work on you.

The following are some of the natural remedies and habits you can try to help you get rid your anxiety:

  • Voice out your problems or the things that make you worry. Talk to your family, to your friends, to someone you trust. Hiding your worries and fears just heighten what you feel and can also interrupt your sleeping patterns which can make you feel stress and then trigger anxiety attacks.
  • Get physical. Regular body and mind exercise can help in reducing stress levels. You can have long walks with your pet, play sports like badminton, some breathing exercises and you can learn meditation and yoga as well to help your mind relax and rest.
  • Drinking plain water at least 8 glasses per day or fruit juice for an alternative can also help. Eating nutritious food such as green leafy vegetables and fruits can give you nutrients that your brain and body need. However, nutrients from food you eat every day may not be enough. You can take vitamin supplements containing vitamins C and B-complex, magnesium and calcium which are good for your nervous system. Also, avoid eating foods that are high in fat, sugar or oil.
  • Aromatherapy can also help relieving and reducing anxiety. Lavender is the most common and effective essential oil that can provide you relaxation.

These may work on some people and may not on others. These are just few of the many ways you can follow or use to treat your anxiety. Do not lose hope, just ask for help, don’t keep it.

  • Activities To Reduce Baby Teeth Grinding (goarticles.com)

The Secret Ingredient that Builds Relationship Health, Happiness and Longevity

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Kindness is “the life” of all healthy relationships, as blood is to the health of the body. Yes, a person can develop strong muscles, cultivate beautiful hair and have the best teeth around–but without healthy blood, it is to no avail; sickness and death are within striking range! The same is true of relationship health. Kindness is needed in abundance for love and respect to flow between the two people and to prevent relationship breakup.

You want your partner to want to be with you, be close to you in all ways, eagerly await your presence–you want a healthy relationship! Then be kind to him or her; instruct your partner to be the same with you. And in so doing, you will avoid many common relationship problems.

Milton Erickson, one the greatest and most creative psychotherapists of modern times, tells the story of a sad and lonely woman that came to him for treatment. She complained she had no friends–none at all. During the interview, she told him she loved to garden. In these words, Ericson found a treatment opportunity.

He told her, “Go back home, grow some African Violets and give them out to your neighbors.” She did. As well, she answered their many questions on how to care for them.

Within a short time, she made many friends. She had merged into her community and become an active member. Erickson understood what she needed–and it wasn’t years of soul searching and time consuming therapy. What she needed, simply, was to behave kindly with others. And so she did, and so she cured her loneliness!

Kindness is as basic as crayons, dolls and Legos. I can prove it!

Let’s go back to school? I don’t mean university, not even high school–how about kindergarten? Think, what happened to children when they were mean–when they bit, hit or stole? Answer: If the offending child didn’t stop, he or she was taken out of the classroom.

That’s just how basic kindness is–it was an absolutely necessity! If you made it through grade school, you knew how to be kind; you know how to get along with others. You may have been imperfect, but you knew enough about kindness to succeed as a citizen of your school! Why should your home be any different?

You want a loving and long lasting relationship with your spouse or partner. You need to be kind to him or her. Here is what to do:

1. Acknowledge your partner when you see him or her. Use your words or body to express your love and care.

2. Talk to your partner, inquiring about his or her well being.

3. Show you care by doing favors; by giving compliments; by being appreciative whenever something is done for you–even (especially) when it is done often!

4. Be sensitive to your partner’s difficulties and when possible try to help.

5. Stay in-touch throughout the day. Send a text message; call on the phone; let him or her know you are thinking about them. What you say is not as important as your efforts to connect.

6. Speak gently, with a comforting voice. If this does not come naturally, then practice until it does.

7. Hold back criticism / anger and foster acceptance.

8. When your spouse is upset, be a warm fuzzy and not a cold prickly–even if he or she is upset about you; you are accused of being the source of many relationship problems! Don’t get angry or run off. Rather, ask the question: What can I say or do to help my partner feel better and calm down? Then do it.

The only way your partner will feel your kindness is if your behavior consistently proves it. That’s just the way it is! It is not enough for “you” to think you are kind, or to ‘tell’ your partner you are kind. As it is said, “Actions speak louder than words.”

The opportunities to behave kindly are limitless. The greater your effort, the healthier and happier your relationship will be. Kindness is the magic ingredient that will bring out the best in both of you. This is great relationships advice that will prevent many relationship problems or even total breakdown.

If you have had a kindness deficiency, then I want you to know it will take time to repair the damage and save your relationship from further injury. You can’t remodel a house in a single day. So too, you can’t immediately change around your relationship. When you make a commitment to be kind, give it time.

Be patient like a gardener watching seedlings mature. Be consistent, be determined and your kindness will prevail–your home will become one of love, care and respect.

Kindness is the one thing you can’t get rid of. Why? The more you “give-away,” the more you “get-back.” Being kind is a great investment. The dividends are certain and the gains are great–what could be better than that? So my friend–be kind.

Abe Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T., C.C.H., is a relationship specialist. He is a certified family therapist with the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, and unlike many self-help gurus, he is the real deal. Visit his website: www.GoSmartLife.com

Is Your Family Against Your New Relationship? Here’s How To Win Them Over

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Starting a new relationship can be one of the best times of your life, especially when you think you have found Mr. or Mrs. Right. However, when your family is against the relationship, things can stop being fun in a hurry. Assuming you’ve found the right person – and that your family doesn’t have a legitimate beef with your new partner – there are some simple things you can do to win your family over (or at least try to win them over).

Find Out Why

Open communication with your family is really the key to getting them to accept your new relationship. You need to find out exactly what their issues are, and whether or not they are founded on reality. Sometimes families are incredibly difficult to please, and they will initially dislike even the nicest, most thoughtful men and women until they get to know them better. If this is your situation, all you need is time and a little communication to win them over. This also applies to winning over your friends who might object to your new relationship.

On the other hand, if you find that your family has legitimate and carefully explained concerns, you may have a tougher time getting your family to see the best aspects of your partner. Your family may have some reasonable concerns, but that doesn’t mean that your relationship isn’t worthwhile…it just means that you’re going to have to do a little work. Connect with a relationship counselor, and once you’ve completed your sessions, you and your partner should report back to your family if you want to win their approval.

It also helps to remember that your family doesn’t necessarily need to know everything. If you call your Mom or your sister to complain about something – but then don’t call them back to tell them all the great things your partner is doing – they might assume your partner is a bad match. Your family only knows what you tell them, so use discretion when you talk to them in order to avoid future problems.

Making Decisions

At the end of the day, or the end of the wedding, you are the one that is going to be spending your life with your partner. If you can’t reconcile your family’s concerns, and you’ve found a great guy or girl in your life that you don’t want to live without, your family will eventually come to terms with your relationship. Hopefully, in time they will see that you are satisfied and happy with the person you have chosen, and they will grow to love your partner as you do.

Some families are less than willing to move past old grudges. When a relationship has a lot of past drama that influences your family’s opinion, you will definitely have a more difficult time with reconciliation. You may want to have your partner speak directly to the family, to give them peace of mind that things have changed. Of course, your partners future actions will also help determine whether or not there is a change of opinion about him or her.

Finally, don’t forget that these concerns go both ways. Your family might object to your partner, but it could also be that your partner objects to your family. Everyone needs to understand that they’re all in this for you. If they love you, they need to work out their differences as best they can for your sake.

Author Jason Lancaster works with GayDatingSites.com. Be sure to check out their list of 100 hilarious pick up lines.

Surviving a Long Distance Relationship with Communication and Understanding

Long Distance Relationship / คิดถึงคนที่อยู่ไกล
Image by AmpamukA via Flickr

Perhaps you have found yourself stuck in a long distance relationship due to your significant other working in a different state, having to go away on a temporary working assignment, leaving temporarily for school, or for other reasons. The fact of the matter is that long distance relationships can be difficult. Relationships are built on communication and understanding, but what happens when you can only communicate via the phone? Skype may be an option but the reality is that nothing compares to spending quality time with one another in the flesh.

Unfortunately if you are not a phone or Skype person you have to work extra hard to keep the love alive. You have to learn how to not take comments personally and instead letting things roll off your back. Having the option of kissing and making up is not an option in a long distance relationship. If you argue you have to work it out by talking verses taking a drive and holding one another’s hand, assuring one another everything is alright. Long distance relationships can be challenging, but here is a list of ideas that will hopefully make your relationship go smoother and long lasting.

  1. When a misunderstanding arises, ask for clarification. Instead of assuming that your love is meaning one thing, ask them what you thought they were implying instead of starting an argument. You may be pleasantly surprised that they didn’t mean it the way it came out. Being patient and understanding will make the world of a difference when you are unable to bridge the gap with physical touch or spending time with one another.
  2. Make plans to see one another as often as your schedules allow. Having plans to look forward to make the time go a lot quicker when you are missing your significant other. If you can squeeze in a concert, a restaurant you’ve been dying to try, or a movie you’ve really wanted to see, creating a memory is a great way to make the precious moments last when you do get to spend some time with your significant other.
  3. If you are bad at picking up the phone, schedule a phone date with your boyfriend or girlfriend every night so you can be sure that you are staying up to date with one another. Letting one another know how your day went, what is coming up in the coming days, and what you are excited or frustrated about in the present moment will create a tighter bond and help you grow closer together. Plus your relationship will be stronger than ever because it will be built on communication and not just physical intimacy.
  4. Keep the love and trust alive by staying honest. If you keep things from the person you love, how is the trust and love supposed to stay alive? Being open, honest, and communicating your thoughts is the best way to help a relationship succeed.

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These tips should hopefully make the time go by quickly and help you look forward to a wonderful time that you will be hopefully spending with your loved one soon. Being away is no fun, but can you imagine the memories you will create when you are together again? If you have the option to bridge the distance by moving or taking another job, that is the best option, but sometimes a long distance relationship cannot be helped. So take a deep breath, put both feet in, and do your best to communicate and create a long distance relationship worth keeping.

An ocean dreamer at heart and in real life, Sierra Greenman thrives on visiting and living near the beach and could never imagine herself anywhere else. She recently ventured out into the freelance world and now is a Freelance Writer and Social Media Specialist and absolutely loves it. Writing about fashion and style are one of her many passions. You can also find Sierra at her blog Ocean Dreams and follow her on Twitter @oceandreams4u. She also is a featured fashion blogger for JoeShopping.com and her e-mail is [email protected] if you want to say hello!

5 Tips for a Strong Relationship

A young woman and man embracing while outdoors.
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It’s easy to think that the average man doesn’t see anything in a woman past her looks. But this is an aged stereotype that needs to be broken. Too many attractive and successful women hide behind the notion that “men are pigs” to justify not being in a relationship. But for every man that is a pig there are scores that are sweet and attentive – you just need to know how to find them. But this article isn’t about finding them, it’s about keeping them. We did our research and figured out not what men are attracted to in a woman, but what makes them stay in a relationship in that woman. In short, things that make the honeymoon phase stretch out, maybe forever.

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1. Surprise!

It’s a common complaint in married women that the spontaneity has abandoned their marriage. They see it as a sign that the husband isn’t interested anymore and isn’t trying to keep the marriage interesting. But men see things in a very similar way, and one of the things that they enjoy about their partners is spontaneity. If you keep things interesting and keep him on his toes, not only will he love you more for it, he’ll also try to one-up you every chance he gets.

2. In the sack

Human beings love sex. Men, especially, think sex in incredibly important. So it’s no wonder that being active between the sheets is so high on the list of men’s relationship priorities. But most were quick to say that they weren’t looking for anything kinky or even constant sex. What they want is to feel fulfilled and, surprise of surprises, to feel like they are fulfilling their partner. Keeping things interesting in bed won’t take too much effort – just talking about your likes and dislikes will go a long way – and you’ll reap great rewards on your relationship.

3. Don’t be clingy

It’s important for men to feel like they are free, and that their women have a life of their own. The man that liked his woman to be meek and always by his side is out of the window. If you’re in a healthy relationship, there’s much to be gained by having your own group of friends and engaging in activities that don’t involve your man. At the end of the day, getting back together will be even sweeter and it will also give you a change to step away and regain some perspective.

4. Make him feel wanted

This last advice ties in perfectly with the previous one. Don’t shun your man too far out of your life. Men like to feel important – who doesn’t? Introduce him to your friends and go that extra mile to make him feel like the most important person in your life and he’ll definitely do the same to you.

5. Support him

Finally, a man likes to feel like his partner has his back. Be sure that he has your full support in becoming the best man that he can be, period.

 

Article contributed by Holly Adams of Coupon Croc, where you can find Thomson discount vouchers for your next romantic getaway.

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