The Benefits Of A Single Holiday

ACT is Adventure Culinary Arts & Tourism
ACT is Adventure Culinary Arts & Tourism (Photo credit: Thompson Rivers)

The Benefits Of A Single Holiday

Many single people dream about traveling the world.  Unfortunately, some of them put off this dream hoping that a friend will decide to come with them in the future.  As people have busy lives, this rarely happens.  People in this situation should consider taking a single holiday.

Singles holidays are holidays designed for a group of single people.  These tours are filled with single people of all ages.  For this reason, the holidaymakers on singles holidays make numerous friends on their trip.

In the past, singles holidays were very expensive.  This has now changed as companies like www.justyou.co.uk no longer charge singles supplements.  Unlike tours designed for backpackers, Just You tours give all guests a room of their own.

People who have taken these tours in the past have come back feeling more confident and independent.  Many people have also made friends that they keep in touch with after the tour.

Taking a single holiday is something that all people should do if they are given the chance.  This type of holiday allows people to visit the countries they want on their own terms.  Singles will not have to wait for others when it comes to making their travel dreams come true.

Dating During a Divorce – Pros and Cons

Can I date while going through a divorce?

One of the first questions that people want an answer to when getting divorced is whether or not they can date while going through a divorce. The answer to this question is not easy. There are many factors that are going to impact whether dating during a divorce is appropriate or not.

When You Have Children

If you are dealing with both children and divorce then dating during the divorce process may or may not be appropriate. The first thing that you have to look at is how much time you have available. Your kids are going to need more of your time during the divorce, you still need to keep up with your work responsibilities and you will have extra responsibilities related to finding a new place to live and getting your single life set up. Most people going through a divorce and who also have kids just don’t have the time to date.

Another issue you will want to look at is your pre-divorce situation. If you go from sharing a home with your spouse directly to the divorce process then dating during this process is most likely a bad idea. You need time to transition between married person and divorced person. On the other hand, if you have been separated for a while and already have separate lives established then dating during the divorce process is possible.

The final issue relates to how you want to be viewed during the divorce process. Some marriages have pre-nuptial agreements that can penalize you for having extra-marital affairs. While these terms may not apply to relationships that occur after a separation, it is generally a good idea to avoid dating in these cases until the divorce has been finalized.

Smart Divorce

When You Don’t Have Children

When you don’t have children the issue of dating during a divorce is slightly more simple. Since you do not have to worry about how your kids will respond to a new relationship and since you do not have to worry about spending enough time with your kids, dating is more of a possibility. However, you still need to think about your situation before jumping back into the dating pool.

Again you will want to look at how dating fits into your schedule and life during a divorce. A divorce is stressful even when you don’t have children together. Legal proceedings not only take your time and resources, but they also can have an impact on your personality.

If you have been separated for a while and you have the time and resources to date then it is up to you whether you want to date or not before your divorce is finalized. You may find that some people are not interested in dating someone going through a divorce, while others will not care as long as you are in the process of getting divorced. The final deciding factor will be your eagerness to date. If you are ready to date then by all means date, but do not rush the process.

Conclusion

Dating during a divorce can complicate things during an already complicated period of your life. Generally it is better to wait until your divorce is finalized before you start looking for romance. However, some divorces take months if not years to finalize. If you have established your new life already and are in the process of getting divorced, and if you have the time and resources to search for love, then this is a call that only you can make.

For more articles on dating while going through a divorce, look engage in conversation on our blog.

Ladies: Is Love Really All You Need To Get Hitched?

Come on, I know what you’re thinking. Most romantics would agree with the title. All you need is love. A lot of women believe this is the only reason to get married. It’s so easy to say, but when it comes down to it, is it really true? After all, times are different now. Back then marriage was about stability, a promised future, and certain social status. Today, you can marry any man you want and all you need is two witnesses and to be happy with his, um, assets. Before you make the plunge, consider the following points:

• The first thing we have to check out is how the two of you interact during a problem or crisis. Can the two of you really handle one another or do you find someone pulling more weight than the other? I’ve seen couples go both ways, but no matter what reactions they had there was a hidden balance. Balance being they were able to work with each other, not against one another. A husband should be like a secretary, if you call in for a week they should be able to take over right away and pick up your slack with ease. Teamwork is important. You can’t be a one woman team, if you want to be, go ahead and enjoy being single until you’re ready.

• A lot of people don’t admit it, but having security really is a huge part in a couple’s relationship. You might be finishing up a college degree while he stays at home and plays Call of Duty on his Xbox. Don’t get me wrong, a man having gaming habits is a nice way to receive some space, but if this is all he does, is it worth it? A man has to have a job or some kind of dream of becoming more. You know the women that stay with the starving and struggling artist, it’s because they truly believe he will make it big someday, no matter how long it takes. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. Bottom line, ensure there is ambition within him or else you’ll be wondering why you never questioned it sooner.

• The biggest and most common question is the trust you hold within each other. You can love someone till the end of time, but if you’re torturing yourself day after day wondering if he’s seeing someone on the side based on his past, it’s not going to work. I say this because I care. Women are sympathetic, they want to be the ones to change their ways, but we have to accept the fact that sometimes it is not an option. Do not, I repeat, do not torture yourself if you question his intentions. You do not want to waste your time with someone who doesn’t care about you. By the time it’s over, you could have been happily married to some other guy for years. Don’t do it. Follow and trust your instincts on this.

Don’t get me wrong, loving someone is half the battle, but it cannot be the only thing you contemplate before making a life-long commitment. If you’ve honestly considered all of these ideas and still have some positive thoughts about your man, you have my personal blessing to get hitched. If later down the road you realize you’d made a horrible mistake, no big deal. You can always get your ring appraised and find out how much your diamond worth is and resell it.

Fran Delaney writes on love, relationships and marriage from her hometown of Los Angeles, CA.

The Secret Ingredient that Builds Relationship Health, Happiness and Longevity

Kindness is “the life” of all healthy relationships, as blood is to the health of the body. Yes, a person can develop strong muscles, cultivate beautiful hair and have the best teeth around–but without healthy blood, it is to no avail; sickness and death are within striking range! The same is true of relationship health. Kindness is needed in abundance for love and respect to flow between the two people and to prevent relationship breakup.

You want your partner to want to be with you, be close to you in all ways, eagerly await your presence–you want a healthy relationship! Then be kind to him or her; instruct your partner to be the same with you. And in so doing, you will avoid many common relationship problems.

Milton Erickson, one the greatest and most creative psychotherapists of modern times, tells the story of a sad and lonely woman that came to him for treatment. She complained she had no friends–none at all. During the interview, she told him she loved to garden. In these words, Ericson found a treatment opportunity.

He told her, “Go back home, grow some African Violets and give them out to your neighbors.” She did. As well, she answered their many questions on how to care for them.

Within a short time, she made many friends. She had merged into her community and become an active member. Erickson understood what she needed–and it wasn’t years of soul searching and time consuming therapy. What she needed, simply, was to behave kindly with others. And so she did, and so she cured her loneliness!

Kindness is as basic as crayons, dolls and Legos. I can prove it!

Let’s go back to school? I don’t mean university, not even high school–how about kindergarten? Think, what happened to children when they were mean–when they bit, hit or stole? Answer: If the offending child didn’t stop, he or she was taken out of the classroom.

That’s just how basic kindness is–it was an absolutely necessity! If you made it through grade school, you knew how to be kind; you know how to get along with others. You may have been imperfect, but you knew enough about kindness to succeed as a citizen of your school! Why should your home be any different?

You want a loving and long lasting relationship with your spouse or partner. You need to be kind to him or her. Here is what to do:

  1. Acknowledge your partner when you see him or her. Use your words or body to express your love and care.
  2. Talk to your partner, inquiring about his or her well being.
  3. Show you care by doing favors; by giving compliments; by being appreciative whenever something is done for you–even (especially) when it is done often!
  4. Be sensitive to your partner’s difficulties and when possible try to help.
  5. Stay in-touch throughout the day. Send a text message; call on the phone; let him or her know you are thinking about them. What you say is not as important as your efforts to connect.
  6. Speak gently, with a comforting voice. If this does not come naturally, then practice until it does.

  7. Hold back criticism / anger and foster acceptance.

  8. When your spouse is upset, be a warm fuzzy and not a cold prickly–even if he or she is upset about you; you are accused of being the source of many relationship problems! Don’t get angry or run off. Rather, ask the question: What can I say or do to help my partner feel better and calm down? Then do it.

The only way your partner will feel your kindness is if your behavior consistently proves it. That’s just the way it is! It is not enough for “you” to think you are kind, or to ‘tell’ your partner you are kind. As it is said, “Actions speak louder than words.”

The opportunities to behave kindly are limitless. The greater your effort, the healthier and happier your relationship will be. Kindness is the magic ingredient that will bring out the best in both of you. This is great relationships advice that will prevent many relationship problems or even total breakdown.

If you have had a kindness deficiency, then I want you to know it will take time to repair the damage and save your relationship from further injury. You can’t remodel a house in a single day. So too, you can’t immediately change around your relationship. When you make a commitment to be kind, give it time.

Be patient like a gardener watching seedlings mature. Be consistent, be determined and your kindness will prevail–your home will become one of love, care and respect.

Kindness is the one thing you can’t get rid of. Why? The more you “give-away,” the more you “get-back.” Being kind is a great investment. The dividends are certain and the gains are great–what could be better than that? So my friend–be kind.

Abe Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T., C.C.H., is a relationship specialist. He is a certified family therapist with the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, and unlike many self-help gurus, he is the real deal. Visit his website: www.GoSmartLife.com

Christian dating facts to help you succeed

Christians all over the world have been often credited with the setting of good standards when in comes to dating between Christian singles. While some may attribute this to a presumably conservative approach to dating by Christians, the truth  is that  the Christian approach by all its virtues is aimed at providing the much needed dignity to the dating process. While achieving this, Christians are able to preserve the religious traditions of the family. Christian dating people are also more secure within the arms of fellow Christian singles as it gives them the opportunity to share the faith and values without any hindrance.

It is to be understood that to be effective in christian dating like any other dating process one needs effective tips for guidance to ensure that you do not stumble at the appropriate time. Some of the  enlisted tips below should help your dating process and enable you to maximize your results and assist your dating experience to be a successful  one.

Be open with your date and do not influence

Accept and understand the pros and cons of your date. Always know the limits. Be careful of the conviction of your dating partner and do not coax your partner into something which is against his or her own natural desire , faith or belief. For instance, do not offer cigarettes or hard drinks to a devout Christian as you will be encouraging vices which isn’t right for you to do.

Marriage should be your goal

In Christian dating , the purpose  of dating is for the reason of conjugal union. As such when you start dating you should date with the intention of getting married and that should be your conscious aim. Christian dating is to not be aimed with petty intentions of small time relationships which can be neglected and abandoned. A long term relationship is the key to happiness in your life and it is God’s will that we should all be happy.So do not play with the feelings of someone else while ensuring that your own  feelings are also  preserved.

Get to know before giving commitments

It is always better to find about the background of the person that you are dating with, so that you know what kind of person it is before you go headlong into a relationship. For instance if you are dating with a partner who belongs to a different Christian denomination than yours, you could possibly find out the prohibitions and limits  in their group which may not be practiced in yours. With such information, you could review whether you are able to go the distance with your partner and this will also help you not to step in your partner’s personal space at the same time.

Sexual intimacy is a big no-no

In the Christian faith  premarital sex  rightly frowned upon and you should always remember that no matter what the temptation may be, you have to resist and deny this forbidden pleasure to yourself for the sake of God’s word. Such a resistance can give you self control as well as instill patience in you as an individual. This kind of an approach also gives both the Christian partners values of Christian upbringing and makes you understand that sex is a sacred gift that only a married couple can gift each other as their personal gift for each other at the  time of marriage . This temptation can be very challenging for Christian dating singles and those who can successfully overcome it will always be strong in their personal lives and their marriage is bound to be a success.

Honesty is the best virtue

Be open and honest with each other as Christian dating  singles Openness and honesty are vital in a relationship and can iron any differences that may crop up between two people. Do not withhold any secrets about the past from your partner as it could have a counterproductive effect in the future. It is better to caution your partner if your past contains a bleak history. This also helps the two of you to start together with a clean slate without the baggage of past history.

Always try to seek guidance

Seek advice from the community leaders and church elders whenever you can and also ask your parents for assistance when it comes to your dating experience. They have a better understanding of the religious demands of Christians through their experiences and learning and it is better to clear any doubts and misconceptions through your religious leaders before you commit any mistakes.

Give your partner the due

Respect is the cornerstone of any relationship. You should  instill the wisdom of conciliation to be within your discussions at all times. Respect each others difference of opinion and even if you argue about a certain topic or issue learn to respect each others views while stating your own convictions. Personal space of both the Christian partners is extremely important else you can invite unnecessary bickering on a consistent basis. Learn to withdraw if an argument is getting into discord. Discuss it at any casual moment later.

Allow your relationship the attention it deserves

Nourish your relationship with the word of God which should be supreme in your whole alliance as Christian dating singles.  Have discussions about your faith and talk about religious traditions whenever the opportunity arises among you. The word of God can bind two people like nothing else can.

5 Tips for a Strong Relationship

A young woman and man embracing while outdoors.
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It’s easy to think that the average man doesn’t see anything in a woman past her looks. But this is an aged stereotype that needs to be broken. Too many attractive and successful women hide behind the notion that “men are pigs” to justify not being in a relationship. But for every man that is a pig there are scores that are sweet and attentive – you just need to know how to find them. But this article isn’t about finding them, it’s about keeping them. We did our research and figured out not what men are attracted to in a woman, but what makes them stay in a relationship in that woman. In short, things that make the honeymoon phase stretch out, maybe forever.

  1. Surprise!

It’s a common complaint in married women that the spontaneity has abandoned their marriage. They see it as a sign that the husband isn’t interested anymore and isn’t trying to keep the marriage interesting. But men see things in a very similar way, and one of the things that they enjoy about their partners is spontaneity. If you keep things interesting and keep him on his toes, not only will he love you more for it, he’ll also try to one-up you every chance he gets.

  1. In the sack

Human beings love sex. Men, especially, think sex in incredibly important. So it’s no wonder that being active between the sheets is so high on the list of men’s relationship priorities. But most were quick to say that they weren’t looking for anything kinky or even constant sex. What they want is to feel fulfilled and, surprise of surprises, to feel like they are fulfilling their partner. Keeping things interesting in bed won’t take too much effort – just talking about your likes and dislikes will go a long way – and you’ll reap great rewards on your relationship.

  1. Don’t be clingy

It’s important for men to feel like they are free, and that their women have a life of their own. The man that liked his woman to be meek and always by his side is out of the window. If you’re in a healthy relationship, there’s much to be gained by having your own group of friends and engaging in activities that don’t involve your man. At the end of the day, getting back together will be even sweeter and it will also give you a change to step away and regain some perspective.

  1. Make him feel wanted

This last advice ties in perfectly with the previous one. Don’t shun your man too far out of your life. Men like to feel important – who doesn’t? Introduce him to your friends and go that extra mile to make him feel like the most important person in your life and he’ll definitely do the same to you.

  1. Support him

Finally, a man likes to feel like his partner has his back. Be sure that he has your full support in becoming the best man that he can be, period.

 

Article contributed by Holly Adams of Coupon Croc, where you can find Thomson discount vouchers for your next romantic getaway.