How to handle the physical contact when you are trying to attract a woman?
One of the main components of seduction is physical contact. Simply, it is not possible to get a girl if you do not put out a certain amount of touching. However, make sure that you do not make the girl feel uncomfortable, because you will ruin your chances of a successful date. Furthermore, that is one of the main problems for most, they do not know how to establish physical contact with the girl, without scaring her away.
Most men are simply rushing the physical contact, which is surely a guarantee that you will scare the girl away. Another common mistake that most men do is simply not taking any actions at all. Although that this will not make the girl feel uncomfortable, it will send the message that you are not interested in the girl at all.
There are some really simple things that you will be bale to do and I can assure you that this way you will send the right message, but will not scare away the girl. Furthermore, those steps are the main part of the whole successful dating process.
First of all make sure you will not understand touching the girl first time you see her as a taboo, because that is the main event where you will have to show the girl that you really want to attract her. However this do not means that you should start kissing her or something like that, but simply touch the outside of her hand, when you are verbally expressing something. This way you will giver her clear sign that you are interested in her, so make sure that you will not be scared to try.
Remember that when you are talking with a girl it is very important to keep up the physical contact, because that way you will keep the bond that you have created and also to extend it into future sexual attraction. In most of the books there are some techniques that you will be able to use to establish a physical contact with the women in a disguised way. This means for example if you want to show her the way to the bathroom, you simply put your hands on her shoulders and show her hoe to find the way. That is the best way to establish a physical contact with the woman if you are shy, because you will get all the benefits and in most of the cases she will not notice.
Last, but not least make sure that you will use physical contact to close your meeting with the girl. This means that you must gently giver her kiss on the cheek or a hug and a kiss. That way you will be sure that she will want to meet with you again as soon as possible.
How do the “Deflection Theory” works and how to seduce women using it?
One of the most common things that is likely to happen, when you are trying to seduce a women is that she shows no interest in you whatsoever. Most of them think that this is simply, because they are not the type that girl likes. However, the reason is that when you are trying to seduce a good looking girl, who is with her friends, you are increasing her self worth. Furthermore, she knows that are interested in her and she likes that feeling. The main reason, why she is not showing any signs of attraction to you is the fact that she is keeping her higher social value. If she shows any signs of attraction or become flirty with you, she will loose it for sure and that is why she is showing no interest to you at all.
The best thing that you will be able to use in that case is the “Deflection Theory”. Basically, you will have to stop paying any attention to her and concentrate on her friends. You will challenge her ego, when you are showing that you are attracted to some of her friends, who have lower social value than the targeted female. That way you will make her to show more attraction to you and become flirty. Like almost all the women, she will start wanting something that she can’t have and in that case this will be you. However, you wanted her in the first place, so that move will be more than welcome to you. Some of the main steps of the “Deflection Theory” are:
1. First of all make sure that you will use strong eye contact when you are talking with the friends of the girl that you liked. It is a good idea, when you are talking to her to glance away your look towards one of the other girls and give a small smile when you are turning your head back to the female that you like. This will set on fire her sense of competition and in the end this will make her fight for your attention.
2. After that start occasionally making a physical contact to one of her friends. The best thing to do is to gently touch her on the outside of the hand, when you are laughing or joking.
3. When you are standing or sitting, make sure that you will slightly be facing one of her friends with your whole body.
The “Deflection Theory” is one of the best psychological techniques that you will be able to use to make a girl to feel attracted by you. Furthermore, you will eliminate the sense that she has no interest in you and will make her to fight for your attention. Make sure that you will try the “Deflection Theory” as soon as possible, because I can assure that you will be amazed with the results that you will get.
My friend John usually asks me for advice on dating girls. He is bouncing back from a divorce, and is currently in his 40’s. The problem is, he’s having a hard time getting back into the "pickup" game.
Similar to older guys who study my dating programs, John particularly likes women younger than him. His ideal dating partner is an attractive girl in her mid-twenties or early thirties. He does everything to maintain his body and stay in shape. He’s a fun-loving guy with a positive outlook in life. So what keeps John from finding success with girls?
He has a common, major problem that lots of guys are facing: he often finds it difficult to "Close The Deal".
Just yesterday, John contacted me with a question that bothers him:
"How do I get a girl to come over to my place?"
This question usually arises right after a date with an attractive woman. The guy has already spent some money on dinner, and the girl is somewhat tired physically. In turn, the guy tries to "recoup" his money and time investment by inviting the girl back to his place, hoping that at least she would agree (if not, the guy is somehow hoping for a good night kiss).
But you know what usually happens after that date? The girl says no. She’ll make some excuse, give the guy a handshake, say "Thank You", and decide to go home. It sucks, I know.
Do you know that there is a technique you can use to MAKE SURE that a woman will readily agree to come over to your place after a date?
Yes, there is something you can do. It’s a killer technique that I’ve used recently with awesome results.
First, keep in mind that most women have a Fear of The Unknown.
That’s the reason why all night long, you have to make the girl feel that you’re a trustworthy guy.
You can do this by dropping simple hints while you’re conversing with her. I’m sure you’re already familiar with this technique if you invested in my dating book, Mack Tactics.
Let me tell you this: if your goal is to invite her back to your place…and she’s never been there before…she will naturally feel hesitant to go there.
Remember? Fear of the unknown. All girls have it.
When you try to invite her to an unknown place, she will put up her defenses and start making excuses NOT TO.
Here are the possible thoughts running through her mind:
* What if his place is unclean and uncomfortable? (Discomfort is not a good sell) * What if he has an eccentric roommate? * What if he’s married or has a live-in partner who suddenly shows up? * What if his place is EXTREMELY far away?
And so on.
Here’s what you need to do: work at OVERCOMING all her fears and concerns…and make going to your place an EASY decision.
So how can you do that?
It’s very simple, it’s right under your nose.
All you have to do is show her your place before you even go out with her.
Here’s the major format of this technique:
When you set the time and place for the date, tell her to meet you outside your place, which is just a "few blocks away". The idea is to ride in your car together to proceed to where you want to go in the date. (It could be a bar, restaurant, whatever).
And you know what, girls USUALLY agree to this kind of arrangement. Here’s the reason: she wants to find out where you live. Girls can be nosy. they want to see your place so they can form a general opinion about you.
Take Note: It is important to make it clear that you want to meet outside your place, instead of hang around INSIDE. Make it seem as if it’s going to take only a few seconds and that’s it’s no big deal.
OK, here’s what you do:
When her car arrives at your door, meet her outside (you must already be dressed up and appear ready to go on a date). Then tell her that you forgot to do something, and you need to go back inside for a few seconds (perhaps you need to make a phone call or send out an email).
"Hey, how are you…my goodness..I almost forgot, I need to make a quick phone call before we leave. It’s important. Come inside for a minute. It won’t take long"
She’ll usually agree to this for the reasons already stated above: she wants to see what kind of place you have, so she can form a general opinion about you.
She will agree to this. Naturally, she is curious to see the INTERIOR of where you live.
When she’s inside your place, pour her a glass of wine, then go away for a while so you can "make that phone call". While you’re not around, I can almost guarantee that she will SNOOP AROUND.
She’ll look at your pictures. She’ll check out what’s hanging on your walls. Heck, she might even open the fridge and find out what’s inside. The reason why she’s doing this is that she’s looking for some "evidence" that you have an existing relationship with someone else. Don’t let her find any.
She might also try the bathroom…so make sure that your bathroom is EXTRA clean as usual. Flush the toilet, and keep the flooring clean. Disinfect and eliminate any undesirable smell in there.
The idea is to let her get used to your place, so when you ask her to go back there later, she would have lesser or NO resistance at all.
After a few minutes, re-appear and proceed on your date.
This technique might seem very simple, but it’s actually a HUGE STEP, psychologically, that shatters a woman’s defenses and causes her to start feeling comfortable towards you.
At the end of your date, after you’ve spent time laughing and having a great time, she won’t hesitate to go back to your place to "watch a movie", or have a drink, or just relax — all because you already allowed her to become familiar with your place. It’s no longer UNKNOWN territory to her.
The key is to let her get used to you touching her. Later when you’re together at the right place and the right time, she won’t object when you start holding her waist, or kiss her, and start the foreplay…all because you already conditioned her early on.
The main reason why guys fail to take things to the next level is because they are afraid of rejection. They fear that the girl will regard their movements as too aggressive. Later on, this lack of initiative backfires on the guy, because he will eventually lose the girl without getting laid or even kissed.
If you understand the attraction process, laid the right foundation, initiated stimulating conversation, then slowly build it up to physical touching…she will not object when you escalate things to the next level. But you have to take the lead. Be the one to make it happen.
Let me tell you a story. In the past, I’ve had a girl come over to my house and let her sleep on my bed. All night long, I didn’t try to do anything because I don’t want to botch things up. We just lay on the bed for hours, just talking and laughing. Later, she fell asleep while I remained awake all night..aroused.
I thought I did the right thing…that if I never pushed things to the next level, she will think of me as a gentleman and she’ll want to have sex the next time we’re together.
Sadly, there was no next time. She never contacted me again. We never went out again. That was the last time. By failing to take things to the next level, she lost interest in me.
I failed to realize that she’s a smart, sexually mature person.
When she agreed to come over to my house and sleep there, she already knew that we were supposed to make love. She was waiting for me to do something, but I didn’t. So that became the end of it.
The secret is to LEAD to sexual intimacy by following a series of steps progressively. The most common mistake that guys make is trying to get a girl to sleep with him before establishing the right foundation.
It is foolish to ask a girl out if you’ve never even spent some time talking with her and getting her interested. In the same way, it is useless to attempt a kiss if you’ve never established any previous physical contact.
You “set up” the first kiss my establishing minor, non-threatening physical contact with her all throughout the time you spend together. Some of these minor physical touches include brushing her hair aside if it’s flying around, giving her a short hand massage when she’s tired, placing your hand at the back of her waist while you’re leading her to a door.
Touching the back of her waist is an erogenous spot, meaning, it has lots of nerve endings that spark sexual attraction in women. Now you know. .
If the attraction starts to become mutual, she will usually say something about it in the form of hints. When she begins to express those hints, be as calm as before. Don’t jump to your seat as if you’re ready to devour her. Just be cool. If she starts to imply that she really likes you, give her a somewhat unclear reply that leaves her thinking:
HER: “So what you do you think…us?”
YOU: “You know what, I really had fun with you. Let’s just keep it cool and see what happens…no commitments and no pressure”.
(If you act as if you’re not in a hurry to get into a relationship with her and that you don’t give a damn whether it happens or not, the more she’ll get desperate to have you!)
And remember, as I said before, never give her a confirmation that you’re interested in her. Act as if you’re having fun and you enjoy being with her, but she should be left thinking to herself, “Does she REALLY like me, or not”?
Make her the one to crave for YOUR approval, not the other way around. Be the one in total control.
That’s the way it should be if you want to attract hot, young women to you.
“Is he really interested me, or he’s just playing a game…the same way he does to other women?”
This is the line of thought that should run through a girl’s mind each time you’re flirting with her. It raises her level of desire to keep pushing things to the next level.
When she’s dealing a guy who sparks those kinds of thoughts in her mind, she’ll feel challenged to “perform” well, act in the sexiest way possible, just to get the complete approval she think she deserves.
The key, though, is to NEVER give 100% approval and confirmation that you have “feelings” for her. I’ll explain:
When a girl is interested in you, she’ll exhaust all means in order to discover if you feel the same way for her. This is because she feels that getting a guy to like her so bad is some sort of “success”.
You can actually drive women crazy, by never showing that you like them. This way, she’ll be challenged to keep working and working to gain your affection and attention.
This is the main reason why you should NEVER confess to a woman how badly you are attracted her, or admit how desperate you are to be her boyfriend (in fact, don’t be desperate at all). Stop cheesy lines and avoid insinuating that you two are “perfect” for each other.
I know that those things above sound romantic to guys, but in truth, hot women are usually turned off with them. I suggest that you stop watching mushy Hollywood films and get back to the real world.
In movies, a geek introverted guy can attract the most popular hot girl in school…all because of him making a sudden romantic admission of his feelings. But it only happens in movies (rarely in real life).
In the real world, making a grand confession and admission of your “feelings” during the flirting/early-dating stage will be seen by the girl as a weakness in your personality.
Ninety percent of the time, admitting your feelings won’t urge the hot girl to tell you that she loves you too. In fact, she might get turned off! Chances are, she will begin to see you as a typical guy who can’t control his feelings and is desperately in love with her. For some reason, there’s no more challenge attached to you anymore, because she feels she’s already “won”.
Teach Me To Dance : How to pull a girl on the dance floor
When the music is blaring and there’s lots and lots of competition, how do you get the killer edge? You’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, neither the best looking person there. You got that really good dancer showing his moves and it really makes you look silly with your little “feet dance”… so how do you get that killer blonde on the dance floor, that has an army of lads and girl friends around her?
This is by far one of the hardest pulling situations, and takes either really good looks, really good luck, or perfect execution of this method, I’m calling: “Teach Me To Dance”
You cannot be scared of rejection, and you can not be scared of what anyone will think of you, but this method has a surprisingly good success rate.
So here goes, step one…
use your friends.
How exactly can you use your friends? Well just nudge them to get on the dance floor with you. If you already are, gather them to get a bit closer. Point out the girls, and notably even your girl (the one you’re after). Now if you’re friends are total wreck heads like mine are, they’ll be drooling all over the girls. Please refrain from doing this yourself. It can be tempting when you’re drunk to act like this, but if you keep your cool and carry on with your little feet dance you’ll reap the rewards later. Don’t worry about dancing any good like those “spice boys”, just have a laugh. In fact, take the piss out of yourself dancing.
Don’t get me wrong have the giggle with your friends, look as if you’re enjoying yourself. If you’re close enough now, you can move onto step 2…
the eye catcher.
The Eye Catcher is a sort of art. You need to catch her eye without staring. So this requires, carrying on with your feet dance, having the laugh with the boys but moving your eyes through the area which the girl is in. Keep doing it, eventually you will catch her eye. This is where you normally would do your goofy smile. Leave that out. Instead lock eyes, for a good few seconds, then look away and carry on having the laugh with mates. You can do this a few times, make it a tiny bit obvious you’re interested.
Now you have a couple of options. She knows you exist, but now what. That depends on the situation. If she is in a small group of friends approaching her will be uneasy for her as she will not want to leave her friends (yes, girls care about their friends), but is she is in a big group of friends, and some of her friends are dancing with lads, then that’s good. Now the next part is something that’s tried and tested and it working will entirely depend on the girls personality. But I’ve had girls tell me to piss off, and it’s still worked out where I got the number. This is just an opener, it’s as good as any.
Go up to the girl and say (while still doing your little feet dance): “Could you teach me how to dance, I really can’t and feel a bit stupid!”
Now the girl will laugh, and feel a little bit sorry for you, and might even think you’re a bit cute. Her womanly motherly instincts will come into play and she will be curious. In which case this starts a conversation… you may well be in.
She may on the other hand, tell you to piss off. Now you’ve either got a feisty one (sometimes the best ones) or a downright mardy bitch. Either way you don’t have much to lose now. Say things like “I was willing to pay for your services, gosh…” or “I was taking the piss anyway, I’m a way better dancer than you”.
Try twice with remarks like that, use your initiative, and you may just get a conversation starter. Make her laugh and you’re in.
She may laugh it off and carry on dancing, but now you have let yourself in, dance by her.
Once you’ve started a conversation one way or another, and began to dance with her, now you can make a bit of an intimate move. The conversation in the loud club will not have gone that far I’m sure. You may have got as far as “what’s your name?” and “where you from?”, but you need to move it back on to dancing.
The next step is… “So are you going to teach me or what, I’m really crap look!” (do a little crap dancing move and get a giggle)…
Involve her friends a little bit by saying to them “I’m trying to get her to teach me how to dance”.
Everyone knows this isn’t the reason why you’re dancing with her… but everyone accepts it as ‘the hook’. It’s the theme of the conversation. Nothing’s lost, and nothings serious if we cover it up with this ‘theme’. It’s like… she hasn’t rejected you, she just didn’t want to teach you how to dance 🙂
Now you must be getting a little bit more comfortable. NO other lads on the dance floor are doing this method, they all either try to dance really cool, or just dribble all over the girls, slap their arses or try and get behind them and dance. Don’t get me wrong this situation sometimes works, but you make a right fool out of yourself, and requires both parties to be extremely drunk. It’s throwing shit against the wall and hoping it sticks. The “teach me to dance” method is more calculated and has a little less risk.
The next step is a biggie but I’m sure by now you can do this bit.
“I’ll just dance behind you, it will make me look good”
Don’t ask. Be dominating. Now make your approach… one of two things will happen obviously. Either she will push you away, or she will accept you dancing with her.
If she pushes you away, it’s not the end of world. Have a giggle. Remember at the end of the day you weren’t trying to pull her. You were trying to get her to teach you how to dance 🙂
Stay with it, and carry on dancing near them making the odd remark, and maybe just maybe you can hook up off the dance floor and carry on with the theme. “So when are you going to teach me how to dance then!?”… “Can I get your number we need to arrange these dancing lessons”.
If you succeeded in getting her to dance with you, you now have to be Mr cool. Don’t go diving in to kiss her, unless it seems that type of situation. Dance with her for a song… don’t be clingy, then tell her you’ll meet her off the dance floor and buy her a drink for being such a good dance teacher. If she is in a situation where you can get her number or email or face book do so, this is normally when they are not so into the song.
So there you have it, a method to pull on the dance floor.
Use it wisely.
Jonathon X is a dating expert and is the creative director at EasyFindADate.com who specialise in free dating.