How To Solve Relationship Problems And Restore Love

Christian Singles

To get from where you are to where you want to be, you need a plan. The same goes with marriage and relationships. Often, you need a plan to solve your relationship problems.

You know that love can take many different shapes and it’s not always a breeze to keep your partner happy and content. The first years of marriage can be amazing but after some time, you may start to feel squabbles coming your way. It is the sign that the partnership between you two is actually made of two distinct parts that need to be harmoniously balanced. When you overcome your problems your love gets more profound.

Unfortunately, intuition plays a huge role in most couples’ efforts to solve their problems. Instead of solving their conflicts by coming up with a plan, what they do is return to their primal instincts – demands and anger – in an attempt to fix things. These instincts do not just fail in making things right, but they also burn down whatever’s left from their love.

Restoring Love Or Solving Problems

I know there is no marriage free of struggle. Conflicts do not necessarily mean trouble or the end of the road. Every now and then, arguments enable the partners to express their differences in opinions and find solutions or come to terms and compromise.

Squabbles and fights come up because the two partners bring into the relationships two different worlds, different experiences, predispositions and expectations. This is why conflicts arise all the time, be in money, jobs, sex and a lot more. In most cases, couples believe that if they manage to solve their conflicts, they’d be happy again. But I’ve found that marriages can be amazing, in spite conflicts, which sometimes remain never fully resolved.

The difference between partners who stay in everlasting joyous relationships and those who regret the day they met is not in whether or not they fight all the time. It’s in finding their way back to each other and be able to restore their love. Restoring love is the most important thing in a marriage and having a solid relationship even after the fight is even greater.

The Love Bank

Here is a metaphor to help you understand how love arises and fades. Imagine that all of us have our own Love Bank and all the people in our lives have a separate account at our bank. Think of it as a way to track how others treat us.

When a person treats us bad, Love Units are withdrawn from their account; however, if someone treats us well, we link those good feelings to their account and add Love Units to that. When the balance is up, we get fond of that person and when it’s down, we feel the opposite.

So, love can be with you forever, if you just know how to add (and not withdraw) units from the Love Bank and keep depositing them. It’s that easy. All you really need to do is to keep the Love Bank levels above the romantic love threshold.

 

This article has been contributed by Aishwarya Vohra from Offshore Ally. She is one of the many talented SEO link builders and virtual assistant of the company. She is a nature lover who likes to read and write on the subject of human psychology, food and music. Connect with her via Twitter.

A Great Date And He Was Cute, Too

Single Parent Dating

Sometimes a great date isn’t about the guy. Not to say that this is always the case, because it isn’t- I love a cute guy just as much as the next girl. But I can appreciate a great date even if they guy isn’t my type.  Take for example this date I went on just last week. It was amazing and I think it would have been great with anyone, but as an added bonus he was adorable. All I can say is that I keep waiting for the phone to ring again.

He picked me up and was actually on time which is always a plus. Then we went out to the new Italian restaurant for dinner. I had some of the best spaghetti that I have eaten and their garlic bread was to die for. As dinner was wrapping up I suggested that we split a dessert, but he said that he had something else planned for after so we didn’t. He paid the bill and we left.

Then he took me down to the park. It wasn’t that late and there were tons of people out enjoying the beautiful night, so it wasn’t creepy at all. He built a fire in this little fire pit and pulled all the makings for smores out of a bag that he had brought along. We just sat there roasting marshmallows and talking. The melted chocolate-y goodness of that delicious dessert was just what I needed. I probably ate way more than I should have and was a little embarrassed when we easily ate the entire bag of marshmallows.  Then he took me home and said goodbye.

I know that smores sound a little unconventional on a date, but if he can plan that for a first date, I can’t wait to see what he comes up with for the second.

The Antidote To Valentine’s Day

Christian Singles

If you’re still paying for Christmas then you’ll be overjoyed to be reminded that Valentine’s Day is almost here. And that marketing event ain’t cheap neither, the average American spends $160 on gifts for their partners and family, not a whole lot less than Christmas.

You could try to do things on the cheap, yeah, right, if you fancy being single on the fifteenth! However, you could do things that will keep the costs down by stealth, making a card yourself rather than sending an overprices tacky missive from a high street stationer says that you’re thinking of her; baking a cake instead of buying one off the supermarket shelf says you like to do things for him.

You can dip your own strawberries in melted chocolate, that often leads to other things and it’s cheaper than a huge box of chocolates that you present her with only to be accused of “trying to make her fat.”

How about taking care of business yourself with a home vajazzling kit? That’s an awesome surprise and much cheaper than getting it done professionally.

If you’re single at the moment then you’re probably sick of it all before it’s even begun, going out this weekend is going to be a chore with all those smug couples staring longingly into one another’s eyes, smooch induced nausea! So, if you don’t feel you’d be responsible for your own actions out on the streets then how about holding your own anti-Valentines day party? Make it themed and it could be a scream.

How about a Gangsters and Molls themed cocktail party? Or invite a few of your single crew over and have a night of slasher movies and beer? You could invite everyone over and indulge in a bit of speed hating. Speed dating’s been done to death, speed hating involves getting together and having a really good moan about your job, the government, taxes, you get it, just rag on everything that’s getting you ripping for a few hours.

If you’re a single girl and you’re not looking to get tied down then how about treating yourself to a day of mani pedis and massage? Get a facial and a new ‘do. Do it for yourself sister!

If you’re a single guy you might like a mani pedi and massage but how about sending a card to your dear old mum, tell her how much you appreciate her and that you love her dearly. She might think you’ve flipped but it’s good to tell her every now and again, no matter how old you’re getting.

Another thing a guy might do is send flowers to one of his single lady friends. I don’t mean all creepy weird stalkery but just a few flowers (Not a single red rose!) to some-one who might appreciate the thought right about now. And you never know, she might have a sister…

Dan Cash will be sobbing bitter tears as he microwaves his romantic ready meal for one on Valentine’s Day.

Conversations for the Second Date

Christian Singles

The second date is a critical time in any new relationship. The first date may not have involved much talking and chances are you did not get to know each other as much as you would have liked. For the relationship to progress, there are questions that should be asked to help you figure out what type of future you may have with this person.

Find out what are the person’s interests. There may be some common ground that you both share and this can serve as a foundation to build on the relationship. You may speak on your likes and dislikes on many topics and find his/her opinion on these subjects. There are many things to talk about, just choose one and learn what the other person thinks about it. These may include questions such as what do you like to do in your spare time or do you like to watch sports.

You may also ask questions about the person’s past. When treading on this territory, exercise special care in the delivery of your inquiries. Certain discussions may bring up hurtful memories from the past. Focus on happy themes and the person’s favorite foods that he/she enjoyed eating while growing up. This will lighten the mood and allow you to become better acquainted with your date.

As you continue conversing, it is very important to raise the subject of what your partner looks for in a relationship. This will provide you with a window to your date’s soul and showcase the qualities that characterize that person.

At this point, you may delve into the personal beliefs of your date. This will give you an idea as to who you are dating. Ask the person about life changing moments and its impact on his/her life.

Having discussions about the person’s future is another ideal topic to raise during your second encounter. The fact that there is a second date indicates that the potential exists for an ongoing relationship. Their future plans will be a good way to test your compatibility. Stay away from questions such as when he/she would like to get married or how many kids he/she wants to have. Chat about each other’s dreams, goals and aspirations. You do not want to scare your date away with too many intrusive questions. Bear in mind that it is only a second date, so keep your dialogue limited to more introspective topics.

When going out with a person for the second time, such an encounter should not be primarily about interrogation. Your date should not face a barrage of questions. Instead he/she should be engaged in active, stimulating conversation that will eventually answer all your questions. The discussion should feel natural and be engaging. Look your date in the eyes when he/she is responding. This shows your interest in the dialogue. Maintaining a relaxed and balanced state of mind will grant you a successful second date. Once everything goes well, there will be many more dates in the future.

Haliyma Barrow holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Spanish and a minor in journalism from Indiana University of Pennsylvania, and a Master of Public Administration from New York University. Barrow regularly contributes articles at online writing sites such as EduBook, EzineArticles and Screen Junkies, with focus on dating related topics.

Christian Singles Online Advice

Christian Singles

If you are a Christian looking for a significant other with whom you can share your life, you might want to try online dating. There are many Christian singles online, looking for love and companionship. In the past when couples said they met online, they were questioned and their story was unique. With today’s technology, it is becoming more acceptable and much easier to find love online.

Christian singles online may want to go to dating websites that are designed just for Christians. These websites try to line couples up that not only have similar hobbies or personalities, but also have similar beliefs. If your faith is important to you, you will want someone who shares your morals.

Many of these dating websites offer free trials. You can join for free and test things out. If you do not like what you see as you browse around the site and try it out, you can cancel before you are charged. Some of the sites say that if you do not like your matches, you will get your money back. There are plenty of options for Christian singles online.

If you do not want to have to pay to find love, you can join some of the other dating sites. As long as you mention that you are a Christian, and are looking for another Christian, you should be able to find people with your values. You may get some strange comments on occasion, but if you are not easily offended, you can find people with your morals just about anywhere on the internet.

With any kind of blind dating, you will want to proceed with care. Talk with the person you meet over email for awhile before you exchange any information. If you decide to meet in person, take someone along with you or meet in a public location. You can never know for sure who you are talking to when you chat on the computer.

To Avoid Two Big Online Dating Mistakes Then Hear What I Type And Look Deeper Than My Photo

Christian Singles

Okay, so it is not official but it might as well be, meeting a potential someone online is just as hard as in the real world.  In fact, in some areas it is even harder, especially if you are one of us girls that is usually invited to bring life into the party and not because our looks bring men to the party.  I am not saying we are ugly, just that our charm comes from a combination of areas that are hard to express in a profile and picture.    In the real world, you make eye contact, say hello and basically know if you want to continue the dance or excuse yourself.  With online dating the variables are different and the interpretation is quite easy to slant.  One of the biggest online dating mistakes is in this area, interpreting what you are reading.  Most people have heard someone say “you only hear what you want to hear”, well this is cyber similar.  A person reads a profile and either thinks from those 250 words they know the person in great depth, or totally believes what they read is saying something entirely different.  When reading a profile, hear what they are saying, if he says he is not comfortable in large groups, do not hear, that taking him to your company Christmas party is not what he is talking about so that will be okay.

While I am on the subject, other online dating mistakes include the phony picture; just because it is you, does not mean it is okay to post a 10 year old picture when you had hair.  Additionally, do not send more than one icebreaking “wink” or comment such as “I am interested in you”, if I respond or “wink” back, then do not send it again, follow it up with some kind of written words.   However, do not immediately send your life story, your “how and why I hate my ex” saga, or your long list of what you expect from me and your dreams for us.  Keep it short, fun and interesting, ask me a question I will want to answer or open a door for further communication.

The ultimate mistake is made by men and women alike.  This mistake is created when you dismiss the person on the picture alone.  If you have spent the time involved to get to the picture part, then go ahead and read what they have written.  You just might not see the sparkle in their eye until you have heard what they stand for, you might have over looked the beauty in their face because you have not given yourself the chance to see the beauty they possess within.

  • The Perils of Online Dating and Talking About Broken Marriages with the New York Times (blogs.forbes.com)
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