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Dating During a Divorce – Pros and Cons

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Christian Singles

Can I date while going through a divorce?

One of the first questions that people want an answer to when getting divorced is whether or not they can date while going through a divorce. The answer to this question is not easy. There are many factors that are going to impact whether dating during a divorce is appropriate or not.

When You Have Children

If you are dealing with both children and divorce then dating during the divorce process may or may not be appropriate. The first thing that you have to look at is how much time you have available. Your kids are going to need more of your time during the divorce, you still need to keep up with your work responsibilities and you will have extra responsibilities related to finding a new place to live and getting your single life set up. Most people going through a divorce and who also have kids just don’t have the time to date.

Another issue you will want to look at is your pre-divorce situation. If you go from sharing a home with your spouse directly to the divorce process then dating during this process is most likely a bad idea. You need time to transition between married person and divorced person. On the other hand, if you have been separated for a while and already have separate lives established then dating during the divorce process is possible.

The final issue relates to how you want to be viewed during the divorce process. Some marriages have pre-nuptial agreements that can penalize you for having extra-marital affairs. While these terms may not apply to relationships that occur after a separation, it is generally a good idea to avoid dating in these cases until the divorce has been finalized.

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When You Don’t Have Children

When you don’t have children the issue of dating during a divorce is slightly more simple. Since you do not have to worry about how your kids will respond to a new relationship and since you do not have to worry about spending enough time with your kids, dating is more of a possibility. However, you still need to think about your situation before jumping back into the dating pool.

Again you will want to look at how dating fits into your schedule and life during a divorce. A divorce is stressful even when you don’t have children together. Legal proceedings not only take your time and resources, but they also can have an impact on your personality.

If you have been separated for a while and you have the time and resources to date then it is up to you whether you want to date or not before your divorce is finalized. You may find that some people are not interested in dating someone going through a divorce, while others will not care as long as you are in the process of getting divorced. The final deciding factor will be your eagerness to date. If you are ready to date then by all means date, but do not rush the process.

Conclusion

Dating during a divorce can complicate things during an already complicated period of your life. Generally it is better to wait until your divorce is finalized before you start looking for romance. However, some divorces take months if not years to finalize. If you have established your new life already and are in the process of getting divorced, and if you have the time and resources to search for love, then this is a call that only you can make.

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Call the Nanny, It’s Time to Start Dating Again

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Call the Nanny, It’s Time to Start Dating Again

Dating is hard at any age. When you’re a teen, it’s awkward and uncomfortable; when you’re in college, it might too often consist of loud parties, overindulging and regrets; and when you’re an adult, it often feels desperate and hopeless. Many single parents are reluctant to reenter the world of dating. Single parents must be sure they feel emotionally ready before they begin looking for ways to squeeze dating into an already packed schedule. With a little pep talk and some smart strategies, single parents might be pleasantly surprised at what they find when they call the nanny in to finally get out and start dating again.

Give Yourself a Pep Talk

You might be feeling a little insecure about yourself, given the negative feelings no doubt lingering after your previous relationship. Remind yourself of all the good qualities that make you a great parent as well as a great person. Make a list of all the reasons anyone would be lucky to have you, and believe them. Speak positively to yourself, and avoid put-downs and other negative self-talk. The best way to attract a confident and likeable date is to exhibit these traits yourself.

Spill the Beans Immediately

When you find someone you would like to date, be honest and up-front about your children. Best to avoid gushing or spending the entire date talking about them, but make sure your date knows that you have kids and that you are crazy about them. As the relationship progresses, you can begin to let him or her know more about your precious offspring, if he turns out worthy to share your most precious assets with.

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Be Honest with the Kids

Avoid lying to your children about the dates you are going on. However, don’t give them every detail. Tell your kids you are feeling lonely and want to meet new people and that it’s important to spend time with your adult friends every once in a while. Do not introduce your kids to any date unless you are certain it will be a lasting relationship. They don’t need the emotional roller coaster that finding a good romantic relationship can be.

When things get serious and you have found yourself a keeper, gradually introduce your special friend into your children’s lives by inviting him or her on an outing you’d all enjoy or to your home for a pizza party. Keep it gradual and slow, inviting him or her more often over time. It may be hard, especially if you are crazy about your new found love, but it’s best if your kids get to know how fabulous your new friend is slowly. It’s a shock to them when you suddenly have a new companion with you all the time.

Getting out into the dating world means you’ll need more help with the kids than you did before. If you don’t have friends or family to help, finding good people to fill nanny jobs is the next step. Find the right nanny for your needs at NannyJobs.org.

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