How to handle the physical contact when you are trying to attract a woman?
One of the main components of seduction is physical contact. Simply, it is not possible to get a girl if you do not put out a certain amount of touching. However, make sure that you do not make the girl feel uncomfortable, because you will ruin your chances of a successful date. Furthermore, that is one of the main problems for most, they do not know how to establish physical contact with the girl, without scaring her away.
Most men are simply rushing the physical contact, which is surely a guarantee that you will scare the girl away. Another common mistake that most men do is simply not taking any actions at all. Although that this will not make the girl feel uncomfortable, it will send the message that you are not interested in the girl at all.
There are some really simple things that you will be bale to do and I can assure you that this way you will send the right message, but will not scare away the girl. Furthermore, those steps are the main part of the whole successful dating process.
First of all make sure you will not understand touching the girl first time you see her as a taboo, because that is the main event where you will have to show the girl that you really want to attract her. However this do not means that you should start kissing her or something like that, but simply touch the outside of her hand, when you are verbally expressing something. This way you will giver her clear sign that you are interested in her, so make sure that you will not be scared to try.
Remember that when you are talking with a girl it is very important to keep up the physical contact, because that way you will keep the bond that you have created and also to extend it into future sexual attraction. In most of the books there are some techniques that you will be able to use to establish a physical contact with the women in a disguised way. This means for example if you want to show her the way to the bathroom, you simply put your hands on her shoulders and show her hoe to find the way. That is the best way to establish a physical contact with the woman if you are shy, because you will get all the benefits and in most of the cases she will not notice.
Last, but not least make sure that you will use physical contact to close your meeting with the girl. This means that you must gently giver her kiss on the cheek or a hug and a kiss. That way you will be sure that she will want to meet with you again as soon as possible.
My friend John usually asks me for advice on dating girls. He is bouncing back from a divorce, and is currently in his 40’s. The problem is, he’s having a hard time getting back into the "pickup" game.
Similar to older guys who study my dating programs, John particularly likes women younger than him. His ideal dating partner is an attractive girl in her mid-twenties or early thirties. He does everything to maintain his body and stay in shape. He’s a fun-loving guy with a positive outlook in life. So what keeps John from finding success with girls?
He has a common, major problem that lots of guys are facing: he often finds it difficult to "Close The Deal".
Just yesterday, John contacted me with a question that bothers him:
"How do I get a girl to come over to my place?"
This question usually arises right after a date with an attractive woman. The guy has already spent some money on dinner, and the girl is somewhat tired physically. In turn, the guy tries to "recoup" his money and time investment by inviting the girl back to his place, hoping that at least she would agree (if not, the guy is somehow hoping for a good night kiss).
But you know what usually happens after that date? The girl says no. She’ll make some excuse, give the guy a handshake, say "Thank You", and decide to go home. It sucks, I know.
Do you know that there is a technique you can use to MAKE SURE that a woman will readily agree to come over to your place after a date?
Yes, there is something you can do. It’s a killer technique that I’ve used recently with awesome results.
First, keep in mind that most women have a Fear of The Unknown.
That’s the reason why all night long, you have to make the girl feel that you’re a trustworthy guy.
You can do this by dropping simple hints while you’re conversing with her. I’m sure you’re already familiar with this technique if you invested in my dating book, Mack Tactics.
Let me tell you this: if your goal is to invite her back to your place…and she’s never been there before…she will naturally feel hesitant to go there.
Remember? Fear of the unknown. All girls have it.
When you try to invite her to an unknown place, she will put up her defenses and start making excuses NOT TO.
Here are the possible thoughts running through her mind:
What if his place is unclean and uncomfortable? (Discomfort is not a good sell) * What if he has an eccentric roommate? * What if he’s married or has a live-in partner who suddenly shows up? * What if his place is EXTREMELY far away?
And so on.
Here’s what you need to do: work at OVERCOMING all her fears and concerns…and make going to your place an EASY decision.
So how can you do that?
It’s very simple, it’s right under your nose.
All you have to do is show her your place before you even go out with her.
Here’s the major format of this technique:
When you set the time and place for the date, tell her to meet you outside your place, which is just a "few blocks away". The idea is to ride in your car together to proceed to where you want to go in the date. (It could be a bar, restaurant, whatever).
And you know what, girls USUALLY agree to this kind of arrangement. Here’s the reason: she wants to find out where you live. Girls can be nosy. they want to see your place so they can form a general opinion about you.
Take Note: It is important to make it clear that you want to meet outside your place, instead of hang around INSIDE. Make it seem as if it’s going to take only a few seconds and that’s it’s no big deal.
OK, here’s what you do:
When her car arrives at your door, meet her outside (you must already be dressed up and appear ready to go on a date). Then tell her that you forgot to do something, and you need to go back inside for a few seconds (perhaps you need to make a phone call or send out an email).
"Hey, how are you…my goodness..I almost forgot, I need to make a quick phone call before we leave. It’s important. Come inside for a minute. It won’t take long"
She’ll usually agree to this for the reasons already stated above: she wants to see what kind of place you have, so she can form a general opinion about you.
She will agree to this. Naturally, she is curious to see the INTERIOR of where you live.
When she’s inside your place, pour her a glass of wine, then go away for a while so you can "make that phone call". While you’re not around, I can almost guarantee that she will SNOOP AROUND.
She’ll look at your pictures. She’ll check out what’s hanging on your walls. Heck, she might even open the fridge and find out what’s inside. The reason why she’s doing this is that she’s looking for some "evidence" that you have an existing relationship with someone else. Don’t let her find any.
She might also try the bathroom…so make sure that your bathroom is EXTRA clean as usual. Flush the toilet, and keep the flooring clean. Disinfect and eliminate any undesirable smell in there.
The idea is to let her get used to your place, so when you ask her to go back there later, she would have lesser or NO resistance at all.
After a few minutes, re-appear and proceed on your date.
This technique might seem very simple, but it’s actually a HUGE STEP, psychologically, that shatters a woman’s defenses and causes her to start feeling comfortable towards you.
At the end of your date, after you’ve spent time laughing and having a great time, she won’t hesitate to go back to your place to "watch a movie", or have a drink, or just relax — all because you already allowed her to become familiar with your place. It’s no longer UNKNOWN territory to her.
Dating and getting younger women does not depend on your age, or how wide the age difference you have with the girl. The principles of attraction works for any woman of any age. It’s just a matter adjusting your tactics a little bit if you want to date someone younger.
Success in dating women really boils down to three major factors:
The image that you project to others 2. Your mindset, values system, or thinking habits 3. Your criteria for selecting women
The three things mentioned above remains the same for any man in any age bracket. There are only slight variations when dealing with specific interests related to a particular age group, but those factors remain the same.
Face this truth. Girls will be girls. Their psychological and emotional "code" won’t change regardless of age. Only their priorities and life situations change.
1. The Image You Project To Others
When we say the word "image", this is not totally limited to the way you handle yourself and dress up (although those things are part of your image) The bigger idea about the word "image" is the way a woman forms an overall opinion of you as a person, based on physical appearance, your status in the world, your personality and manner, what you say, and how other people regard you.
Ideally, you’d like her to form a favorable idea of who you are as a total person. You see, attractive women have a knack for finding out who you really are inside.
You can impress her with your looks, status, and moves. But at the back of her head she’s constantly thinking: "I want to know the kind of person he really is on the INSIDE".
You must be able to give her an overall idea of your personality that removes all her resistance regarding your age, physical imperfections, weight, and anything else which might be considered a negative trait on your part.
Generally, women choose men who possess the qualities that she WANTS.
That’s really what it boils down to: Do you have what she wants?
While it’s true that most women dream of having a Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, but in real life they’re willing to go beyond good looks if you have personality traits that they’re looking for.
There are some many advantages that come with age: Experience, social status, maturity, security, financial stability…and many other things that make a woman comfortable.
If you want to succeed in attracting younger females, do not capitalize on the negative aspects of getting older. Instead, capitalize on the positive aspects and realize that you deserve to have a wonderful, attractive woman.
When it comes to life experience, you can’t brag about it. Don’t just come over to a younger woman and say "I have experience and I can give you the security you want". That’s just stupid. Instead, let your actions speak for you. Your experience and maturity will be evident in how you handle situations, and how you carry yourself.
Why not take an honest look at yourself and ask this question: "What positive traits do I possess that makes me attractive to the opposite sex?"
Put yourself in a woman’s shoes. If you were her, would you consider dating a guy like yourself?
I’m 100% sure that whatever your background is, or how "ugly" you think you might be, there are at least some physical and personal traits that makes you attractive to others.
Find those traits and qualities, then capitalize on them. Chances are, if you find some things about yourself that are attractive and then accentuate them, some women will take notice and like you for those traits as well.
Don’t forget this: A woman’s mindset towards attraction never changes regardless of her age. Only their priorities change, but they are still attracted to guys the same way they were attracted to boys during grade school days.
So with your actions, demonstrate to everyone that you’re "Mr. Right", and project the image of a person who is inside every woman’s dream.
The ideal image of a man in the mind of a woman is someone who is young, masculine, and strong (both physically and emotionally). You cannot prevent your age, but you can always act and speak in a youthful way. Being masculine involves doing things in a manly way, such as making firm decisions, solving conflicts, showing that you are in charge..etc. And being strong, physically and emotionally, means you should maintain your body with proper exercise and have a positive outlook in life.
Project the image of a capable man who knows how to take charge, and she will see you in a positive light despite of your age. In fact, age is totally irrelevant when it comes to attraction.
2. Your Mindset Values System, And Thinking Habits
The outward image that you portray directly stems from your thought patterns and beliefs at this very moment. What’s your belief and opinion about yourself?
What do you think are your strengths and weaknesses?
I’ll ask you a straight question. Do you feel confident that you can pick up a hot, insanely attractive 25 year old without much effort? Or do you believe that you can no longer do that because of your age?
I’ve heard all kinds of excuses that men make each time they are asked those same questions. In fact, there is almost an equally amount of 25 year old guys who believe that they CAN’T pick up an attractive 25 year old girl..even if they tried! So this fear of rejection is embedded in the emotions of most men, and it needs to be overcome in order to be successful with women.
Age is not really the problem. It’s your negative beliefs and feelings that prevent you from having fulfilling relationships with attractive women. In fact, age is a plus factor, not a liability.
Some men have more difficulty changing their beliefs than others. This is because our thought feelings are in fact patterns and habits of behavior that are hard to break.
However, if you are persisted and have commitment to improve yourself, you can free yourself from negative thinking patterns and false, unfounded beliefs.
You’ll be surprised at how many romantic opportunities will open up to you when you start believing in yourself.
The key is to develop GENUINE confidence and positive self-esteem. Jerks and overly cocky people are not confident, they are insecure. But if you have real confidence in your abilities, you will not be scared to approach and date any woman you like.
You must look like you’re extremely comfortable with dating situations and is not intimidated with pretty girls. When women notice that you seem like "you’ve done it before", they will not think twice about giving you a fair try.
Remember, but acting it out, it has to come from a genuine belief that you have. Believe that you dating is not difficult. Imagine yourself relaxed and having fun with an attractive woman, and she is enjoying herself with you as well. Then go out there and make this mental picture real.
3. Your criteria for selecting women
I have a friend in his mid-50’s who resides in India. He visits a karaoke bar every Monday sings a couple or more songs. his voice isn’t exceptional, but is definitely powerful worth hearing.
After finishing his first song, he buys free drinks for people around him. In just a matter of weeks since he started visiting that bar, he became extremely well known there.
Even though he lived in India, a place which has conservative values when it comes to dating, my friend was able to date lots of women in their twenties just in that bar alone.
The reason? He exudes confidence and makes a powerful statement whenever present. We can say that he has a very high social status in that karaoke bar. He has successfully rose above the ranks and reached the very top of the pecking order. He did this by changing his mindset, and his renewed confidence emanated to the world around him. This allowed him to attract more women…mostly younger than him.
Whether you like it or not, women are searching for some real world demonstration of the pecking order. She’s looking for a guy who’s on top of the "food chain" of society. Because you’re older, girls naturally feel that you would be far more superior to younger guys in terms of experience and social status. But still, you have to demonstrate that social status. It doesn’t necessarily follow that you should pay for everything, but you should display some sort of authority and influence in the real world.
No matter who you select, she’s looking for some type of demonstration of the pecking order. You’re expected to be at the top because you’re older. Those at the top take care of the ones underneath him. Don’t mistake this to mean you pay for everything. It’s not like you have to pay for her college tuition.
Think of ways on how to "demonstrate" your authority, influence and social status to the particular age group of women that you’re targeting. Remember that each age group has varying definitions of the pecking order.
It is helpful for you to go to places where you can regularly meet and hook up with different women from various age groups. This way, you know how to deal with any women, regardless of the circumstances.
When the times comes that you’re totally confident in your ability to pickup attractive women anytime, anywhere, your age and her age stops being a barrier. But for the sake of practicing your skill, go to places where you can feel comfortable socializing and where you can gradually work your way up in the pecking order.
Some good places are karaoke bars, gym clubs, yoga classes, self development seminars..and many others.
The important thing is to go where women are going. I mean, you can’t expect hot, pretty girls to pop out in the middle a graveyard, right? Go where the action is, then grab every opportunity to practice your skills.
Instead of doing some cheesy admissions, be cool, calm, and act as if you don’t give care too much.
Think yourself as a bullet train that runs forward at full speed.
Act as if she only has two options:
First, she can choose to ride the train and experience the ride of her life. Or, second, she can MISS the train and deny herself the chance of a lifetime. Either way, you’re not affected, because you’re already good on your own even without her.
By doing this tough approach, you will be able to know early on if she likes you on a sexual level.
All you have to do is to follow a specific progression of stages and steps. Move from the initial contact, to conversation, then proceed to physical touching and so on. When you know the correct sequence, you’ll never have to guess whether she likes you or not.
You’ll be aware of how to read a woman’s body language signals. Your words, techniques, and moves will gradually lead her to say “Yes”, instead of her finding EXCUSES to not get involved with you.
Negate the physical barriers between the two of you and try to make body contact with the woman. The perfect time to do this is when you’re both bursting in laughter.
When she least expects it, give her knee a soft tap or touch. When you do a high-five, wrap your fingers around her for a split second. Usually, she will get confused with that signal, and she will experience an emotional spark. Just when she thought you are interested in her, you move your hands away from her and act as if you don’t care and nothing happened.