Why You Shouldn’t Stress So Much Over a First Date

You went out one night with your girlfriends and met this really handsome guy. You chatted a bit, and just before you left he asked you for your number. A few days later, he calls and asks you on a date. You say yes, naturally. But all of a sudden you’re a nervous wreck. This guy was really cute and seemed really nice – you don’t want to screw it up! Now an event that’s supposed to be fun has become totally stressful for you. Why do first dates have to be so nerve-wracking?

The answer is: they don’t. First dates shouldn’t be stressful, they should be comfortable and fun. Will you have a few butterflies in your stomach? Of course. But if you’re so stressed out that you almost want to call and cancel, it’s a bad sign. You should never stress so much over a first date, and here’s why.
He Already Likes You

If a guy asks you out on a date, it means he likes you. He might not know a whole lot about you, but what he does know and see he likes. You already have a leg-up. He sees something in you already, and all you have to do is continue to be yourself.

It’s Not as Important as You Think It Is

First dates are important, yes, but they aren’t as important as you think they are. Everyone gets nervous on first dates, and they rarely ever go perfectly. You can’t expect instant shooting stars; you just have to work on building some kind of connection. If he likes you, he won’t hold it against you that you used the wrong fork or said the wrong thing. The second and third dates are more important ones.

No One Else is Going to Care

If you do something embarrassing on a first date, in most cases no one else is ever going to find out unless you tell them. The people who really matter to you – your friends, family, coworkers – they aren’t going to be judging your first date performance. If it doesn’t go so well, you can move on and forget about it.

If It Doesn’t Work Out, So What?

When you’re getting so stressed out about one first date, what are you worried about? That it won’t work out? If it doesn’t work out, so what? That guy was just one guy, and he obviously wasn’t the one for you. It’s better to find out now rather than later. There are so many other fish in the sea, as they say, and you can just go on another first date with someone else.

Here’s the bottom line – first dates are not worth stressing over. You are nervous, but he’s probably a little nervous, too. First dates usually don’t go as well as planned, and it would be weird if you didn’t have at least one awkward moment. Don’t let your stress get in the way of you having fun and getting to know someone new. Just relax and enjoy yourself. If things don’t go well, no big deal – just don’t have a second date.

Michelle Leigh is a self described fashionista who often blog and covers a broad range of topics from relationship advice to cosmetic brushes and style.

Photo Credit:  Tastino0 – www.tastino0.it

A Guide to Cheap College Dates

College students are poor. And by poor, I mean dirt poor cheapskates who don’t want to spend money on anything. Did I get that about right? It is nothing to be ashamed of but it is true. No college student wants to spend money on anything they don’t need to. This is why a lot of college students do not go on dates. What many people don’t know is that dating does not have to be an expensive thing. There are so many things that people can do that are either free or really cheap. Don’t let money be an excuse to not go on dates. Here are some great cheap date ideas.

Make dinner together
Instead of going out to an expensive meal, make an activity out of it and cook it yourself. Buying food at a grocery store is automatically a lot cheaper than going out and buying a whole meal for two people. It is also a good opportunity to talk to the person and actually get to know them better.

Penny dates
In order to make this work, all you need is a penny. Then, you and your date each need to pick a destination. Then flip the penny and one destination will be heads and the other tails. The whole point is to let the penny make the decision. You may find that you go to some interesting places that you have never been to before.

Dollar theater
There are not dollar theaters everywhere, which means that not everyone can do this. If you do have a dollar theater close by, take a date to a movie. Dollar theaters show movies that have just left the normal theater that are still not out on DVD. It gives you the chance to see pretty new movies, without paying a fortune for a movie ticket.

College sports games
Most colleges have deals for students where you can get in to different sports games for free or for a lot cheaper than normal. Go to any sports game possible that is relatively cheap. Sports games are so fun because you can be loud and crazy, but you can still have a conversation and get to know your date.

Hike
If there are places to hike in your college town, look up some cool trails that would be fun for anyone. You can even make it a double or a triple date and go on a hike with a big group. Hiking is a fun activity and it is completely free! There is no cost to wander around in a forest.

Bike ride
If you have bikes, you can find a cool bike trail. Take advantage of a nice sunny day and go out and enjoy it. Creative dates are very much appreciated. Going on a bike ride is a lot more creative than your normal dinner and a movie. Plus, going on a bike ride is free!

Fly a kite
If you don’t have a kite, you may have to buy one, which will cost a little bit of money, but it is still a cheap activity. Many people have never flown a kite. It would be a fun and new experience and a good way to have a conversation with a date,

 

About the Author

Meagan Hollman is a writer for MyCollegesandCareers.com. My Colleges and Careers is a great place if you have decided that you want to enroll in online master’s degree programs.

7 Things To Do Before You Date Someone

Thanks to online dating, more people are dating than ever. This makes Tim Berners-Lee (the inventor of the internet as we know it) the biggest match maker that ever existed. Thanks Tim!

The problem with online dating though is the transition between ‘meeting’ online and meeting in real life. There is, and always will be, a slightly awkward situation where you can get to know someone online, but when you finally go to meet them face to face, you suddenly realise that you don’t have quite as advanced relationship as you thought you did because it had been done behind a virtual curtain that often inadvertently hides aspects of your personalities. Especially when all you have to go by is their carefully worded profile and some text based chat.

So what can you do to make sure they are definitely someone you want to date? Here are some tips:

See if your Friends Know Them

Don’t be shy; online dating is now a perfectly acceptable way to meet people. It no longer comes with the brief silence that used to meet people who explained that they met online. Ask your friends and family if they know him/her. Finding out that they used to date your ex on your first date is never a good feeling.

Google Them

It’s free! Just punching their name into that big white search box and maybe including some details you know about them like where they live. This might bring up pages they wrote from when they did charity work in Africa, or it might bring up a page in a forum where they had a heated debate in which they defended slavery. Eye opening either way.

Check Their Facebook

If their profile is not private you can easily pop their name into the search box and find their page. From there you can see more of what they look like from pictures, see what their friends are like and see what sort of things they talk about on there. Maybe they have terrible grammar?

Police Check

If you have the opportunity and you are particularly nervous about meeting them in person, you could go as far as getting a police check. This will let you know if they have a criminal record, although not having a criminal record does not necessarily mean they aren’t a criminal.

Find Out What They Do

It is quite important to find out what they do for a living. Having compatible careers may allow you to work out if you are likely to be able to start a life together. Maybe they work on oil rigs and you are an air hostess? This would be a difficult relationship to make work but perhaps you only want to meet them once…if you know what I mean.

Ask a Friends Opinion

You could just ask your mates what they think of them based on their profile. They may see something that you didn’t notice before that will put you off. Maybe they smoke?

Stalk Them a Bit

If you really are a bit crazy, you may consider stalking them. Acceptable stalking includes bumping into them accidentally on purpose at the shops. Tapping their phone is not acceptable.

Have a great date!

 

Hanson Black is a UK dating expert. He explores dating websites UK looking for people he is most likely to have a connection with.

 

Match.com to Screen For Sex Offenders – They Don’t Already?

Match.com announced that they will begin checking the National Sex Offender Registry when people sign up to use their online dating service today.  What is truly amazing is that they were not already doing so.  Perhaps I was remiss in thinking that this would be a logical thing for a dating service to be doing.  Regardless, they are doing so now.

The company has started doing this in large part because of a huge lawsuit filed in California by a woman that says she was raped by a Match.com date.  The lawsuit claimed that the man forced his way into her apartment on the second date and proceeded to rape her.  The man named in the lawsuit allegedly had six different sexual battery charges in his history in Los Angeles County, not to mention anywhere else.

The woman says that because Match.com did not screen for predators that are known, that she was at risk.  This seems contrary to what Match.com had in their terms of service.

In the terms of service and enrollment agreement on Match.com, it clearly states that individuals are solely responsible for any and all meetings and results between dates.  In other words, Match.com has no responsibility when damages are incurred from meeting someone on the site and seeing them. (paraphrased from the site)  The terms are rather clear, but that does not seem to be stopping the case from moving forward.

The woman says that it was rape, while the man claims it was consensual.  Regardless, the case is one that seems to be changing the way Match.com does business.  They are changing the background checks on the site, and are now going to bounce the names against the registry.  It seems that this is a simple enough thing to do and one that should have been done to start with.

Perhaps that is the reason why the lady is pursuing this action in court.  While the website seems protected with the wording included on the sign up sheet, it still can be held accountable under certain conditions.  Apparently Jane Doe’s lawyers feel strongly enough about the case to pursue it.  It should be interesting to see what comes of this and if it will change the industry standards in the months to come.

A safer online dating environment is certainly not a bad thing, but how much of that onus should fall upon the heads of the website?  Is much of this still not on us? I guess it depends upon what we perceive that we are paying for, and what we are actually getting for our membership.  Maybe it would be a good thing to offer extensive background checks on prospective matches.  I know that I would certainly pay for it if I were back in the dating scene somehow.  Safety is the most important thing when it comes to online dating, even though we may not realize it until after something bad like this happens.

We shall see in Los Angeles Court in due time.  It should be an interesting battle indeed.

This article is contributed by Rodney Southern, a freelance writer and sports columnist.  Rodney regularly publishes articles at collaborative writing sites such as HungryScholar.

  • What Are They Really Saying? Reading Body Language on the First Date (singleonlinedating.org)
  • Top Five Most Romantic Cities (singleonlinedating.org)

Top Five Most Romantic Cities

There are many reasons to travel, whether it’s the annual family summer holiday, or a romantic getaway with just your spouse, the destination must match the occasion. It’s true that many of the most popular vacation destinations in the world cater to all kinds of travelers, but there are a few that offer the best experience possible for those in search of Romance. Whether it’s your Honeymoon, or just an escape from every day life, choosing the most romantic destination can make the difference in your holiday experience. The best backdrop for lovers on vacation will of course depend on several factors, however, there are several that are by far the most coveted. Here are just the top five cities that have been considered the most romantic travel destinations in the world.

1) Venice, Italy: this is likely not a surprise for many, but this city is well known for it’s romantic setting for a reason. It doesn’t get more iconic than taking a ride down the canals, sitting at a quaint cafe, and admiring the picturesque skyline. This city offers a broad range of experiences for all kinds of couples. Whether you’re the active, sightseeing type, or the relaxed and leisurely kind. All couples will fall in love all over again in Venice.

2) Prague, Czech Republic: now this one, on the other hand, may be a surprise. This historical capital has much to offer, which explains it’s growing popularity as a coveted European destination. Much like many other favorite cities in Europe, Prague offers the iconic look and feel you’d come to expect from Europe. Everything from stunning cathedrals, to a romantic river cruises, to delicious cuisine can be found here. In fact, one of the most beautiful cafes in the world is in Prague, the Imperial Cafe; this cafe is so famous, it has appeared in a vast number of movies.

3) Paris, France: this city is often related with romance and love, and once you go and experience it in person, you’ll know why. The size and splendor of Paris is unrivaled, with many picturesque sites, along with quiet streets and parks to lose yourself in. You can have it all here, from romantic, candle lit dinners, to picnics in the park. You can find excitement, and privacy, in this city designed for lovers.

4) Lisbon, Portugal: many find busy capitals anything but romantic, but Lisbon is another European exception. With iconic trams, cobblestone streets, ocean views, shopping and more, you can have a little bit of everything in this Portuguese capital. Breath taking views can be found on hill tops through out the city, and the abundance of delicious, local wines are sure to set the mood.

5) Florence, Italy: don’t be surprised that two Italian cities made the list, as many could easily fill all five positions with this romantic country’s cities. Whether it’s the sprawling countryside, or the city’s center, Italy provides couples with the atmosphere and environment they’re craving for romance. Florence has the restaurants, sights, history, and charm that you’ve always been looking for on your romantic getaway.

This post was written by Sara Woods from Mega.co.uk. Take a look at their Low cost holidays before you book any romantic breaks.