Every aspect of human life typically evolves at some point and the realm of dating is no different. We have seen many things change when it comes to dating. The world of social media and the age of internet have changed the means by which we have to reach a different mass of people than we typically could. What this does is open an entirely new and exciting set of possibilities for what you are looking for or what you can find. This adds many beneficial abilities to the ones who may have suffered in other forms of dating for one way or another. Some traits are less important and some flaws less noticeable when everything is done via email, or IM.
That’s not to say that this new era hasn’t come with its own set of obstacles. This onslaught of social media has brought forth its own depression: the “Social Media Depression.” This is brought on typically by the days and days of no profile traffic or perhaps a low friend count. The key to remember is everyone is different and that’s a fact of life. Believe me, you should have no envy because someone has more virtual friends than you; there are many things to be envious for, but this just simply isn’t one. The advantages of online dating however are far greater than the disadvantages as long as you set your expectations at a correct level. What we are here to help provide whether its general dating advice or something more deeper that you need.
Many people have asked me, how do I succeed at online dating? The answer to this question is very similar to the one of general dating. Woman still find the same things attractive as do men. The way you deliver these things has changed, however. Instead having a great line prepared when at the club, all the introductions are provided by your user profile. This basically sums up all of your good points, and maybe the bad ones, and puts it into an easy to determine sample. The key to online dating is properly managing the opportunity of your profile.
Your profile can be your single greatest strength or weakness, if you so choose it to be. This is the first thing that someone sees when they view you in the listings. Some people just throw a profile together to get one on the site. This often leads to absolute failure in an online dating community. The way to think about it is if you were car shopping and seen nothing but busted up cars, would you begin to look deeper? The answer is more than likely not. Potential daters are no different. If they don’t like what they see on the profile they are not likely to take you serious or dig deeper. This is why the profile is so important. It is your single greatest chance to make a unique impression to someone and scream “I AM who you are looking for.”
The first thing you should begin to ponder when creating an online dating profile is what you are looking for in a person. Do want something long or short term? What’s more important to you: physical or emotional traits? Which traits within those categories are most important to you and why? What are things that your potential match must have before you could be fully satisfied in the selection you made? Write these things down as these will be the most important things when building your profile. After this, begin to work on your own traits. What makes you unique, your hobbies, or your own character should all be deciding factors of what your side of the profile will appear as.
Many people make the mistake of adding too many personal describing adjectives such as I’m very outgoing, I’m very understanding, and I’m down to earth. While these may be great, over using them will appear as if you are trying to sell yourself on words alone and not actual character. Someone can say they are down to earth, but what makes them that way? This is the challenge of creating a profile that will grab a reader’s attention and hold it firm. To do this, you must prioritize your greatest traits and spin them into a form that is going to grasp attention. So, instead of just describing yourself with these adjectives, list things and situations that make you a very outgoing or very understanding person. The general concept is to spot things you must avoid while dating online and stay away,
Another common mistake people make is during the listing of hobbies. The key is you want to set yourself apart from others. Do this by viewing your competition and doing some research. If you’re 24 and you find that almost all 24 year old women like to ride four-wheelers, it generally isn’t a good idea to make that your highlight hobby. You will appear as if you are just like every else in your “group.” After you have done your research, think of things that you enjoy doing that may be more interesting than what the competition is selling. For example a girl that is very into playing Xbox online I find as unique in her particular category. While not everyone sees that as unique, I find it very intriguing for the simple fact that through the life of online dating, I find very few females who openly put that out as a hobby and promote it.
Photo selection in the online dating community is a lot more critical than what most people consider it. One of the most common questions asked from my female counterparts is “Why do I only attract scum or perverts?” Yet when I view their profile photo, it seems as an open invitation to these types of people. In general even if you have it to show off, do not put so much cleavage in your photo as if to say “Insert pervert card here!” You want to appear generally happy and full of energy while remaining professional. The way you carry yourself in a photo says heaps about whom you are and what is important to you. A professional photo says that you are accomplished as a person and you care about yourself and your future.
Once you have your profile, how do you increase traffic to it? One of the easiest ways is simply playing the numbers game. Send out a message to every single person that matches your criteria in a person. The more people you reach out to the odds of getting traffic back is much higher. Look at it this way: when launching a marketing campaign, is a firm going to target only a few people? No, they are going to target as many as they can and only if a portion come to the surface they still win because of the large group they targeted. When you do get messages try your best to respond as this will increase your overall visibility on the site and make you seem much more like an active member in the community. Sometimes it is ok to venture outside of what you are interested in for the simple fact that everyone stumbles when writing an online profile. The person you are messaging is no different; maybe they have greater qualities they just couldn’t put into words for their profile.
As with any new goal you try to tackle, ensure yourself that you are setting reasonable expectations. Never create a profile and expect in the first week to go on 3 dates; it just doesn’t happen that way. What your expectations are of online dating will greatly dictate whether you succeed or fail. If your expectations are in the mediocre range then you are much more likely to see the results you want in a given time frame. If you set your goals to high however more than likely it will take them longer to develop, therefore leading you to become more and more frustrated when it doesn’t happen fast. We are a nation of wanting immediate results and it’s evident in everyday life and marketing campaigns. Do not let this kind of mindset drift over into your mindset of online dating. Keep in mind that this is a marathon and not a sprint. Set reasonable expectations and stay dedicated to what you decided on as it will benefit you greatly in the long run.
After you have established what you feel to believe a sound profile and correct expectations if you are still not getting any traffic, it may be time to either revaluate your traffic methods or your profile in general. Perhaps you can try different things to get traffic to your profile but if still no success, it is time to dig deeper into your profile. At some point you will most likely have to reevaluate your expectations and perhaps change them. For instance, if the one thing I have to have in a potential dater is a very modest attitude but simply no one in the community has one, maybe I need to adjust that some to better meet what is in the community. Never be afraid to change what you expect out of something simply due to the fact that your mindset changes, typically, on a daily basis. Now, I’m not saying change your profile every day. You should give what you have enough time to develop and attract people. If you don’t, you will find yourself in a never ending cycle of trying to recreate a profile when you don’t even know what the starting products potential was because you didn’t let it develop.
Even though online dating presents many new and unique challenges it can still be a great experience for someone who hasn’t attempted it yet. Online dating isn’t for everyone. Some people still prefer to do it the old fashion way and there is nothing wrong with that. If you are struggling, focus on your profile and how it looks to someone who may be interested in you. When you do these things effectively, it can increase your chances of success exponentially.