Month: December 2010

To Avoid Two Big Online Dating Mistakes Then Hear What I Type And Look Deeper Than My Photo

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Okay, so it is not official but it might as well be, meeting a potential someone online is just as hard as in the real world.  In fact, in some areas it is even harder, especially if you are one of us girls that is usually invited to bring life into the party and not because our looks bring men to the party.  I am not saying we are ugly, just that our charm comes from a combination of areas that are hard to express in a profile and picture.    In the real world, you make eye contact, say hello and basically know if you want to continue the dance or excuse yourself.  With online dating the variables are different and the interpretation is quite easy to slant.  One of the biggest online dating mistakes is in this area, interpreting what you are reading.  Most people have heard someone say “you only hear what you want to hear”, well this is cyber similar.  A person reads a profile and either thinks from those 250 words they know the person in great depth, or totally believes what they read is saying something entirely different.  When reading a profile, hear what they are saying, if he says he is not comfortable in large groups, do not hear, that taking him to your company Christmas party is not what he is talking about so that will be okay.

While I am on the subject, other online dating mistakes include the phony picture; just because it is you, does not mean it is okay to post a 10 year old picture when you had hair.  Additionally, do not send more than one icebreaking “wink” or comment such as “I am interested in you”, if I respond or “wink” back, then do not send it again, follow it up with some kind of written words.   However, do not immediately send your life story, your “how and why I hate my ex” saga, or your long list of what you expect from me and your dreams for us.  Keep it short, fun and interesting, ask me a question I will want to answer or open a door for further communication.

The ultimate mistake is made by men and women alike.  This mistake is created when you dismiss the person on the picture alone.  If you have spent the time involved to get to the picture part, then go ahead and read what they have written.  You just might not see the sparkle in their eye until you have heard what they stand for, you might have over looked the beauty in their face because you have not given yourself the chance to see the beauty they possess within.

Related articles
  • The Perils of Online Dating and Talking About Broken Marriages with the New York Times (blogs.forbes.com)

Online dating background screening

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With today’s Internet age, anyone can have access to vital information about an individual. Employers can check on the background of job candidates, landlords on their potential tenants, and business entities on their vendors, suppliers, and business partners. Believe it or not, you can even make a background check also on a date you’ve been seeing before you decide on going further than plain dating.

More and more people are getting themselves into online dating to find a potential mate, partner or spouse. This essentially holds true to the busiest cities where most employees are on the go and allotting even a few minutes of their time to spend with a new acquaintance may become unsuccessful. Some people are more confident in making reports at home, for example, while waiting for a reply on the chat room. Also, there are instances when a new acquaintance at a party begins sending you e-mails almost every day showing you that he or she has interest in you. If you have mutual feelings, some type of background screening service is beneficial. Take note that when you have n enough knowledge of a new acquaintance, you may be opening yourself up to potential stalkers, thieves, sexual predators, and ex-convicts out to catch his next victim.

Don’t be fooled right away by a date’s flowering words and impressive remarks. Do your own research. There are plenty of background screening agencies that mastered the art of checking people on online dating sites. It would be best for you to check him or her out before doing moves other than dinner or movie dates.

You can find out who he or she really is by getting access of the person’s civil records, bankruptcies, tax liens, small claims judgments, previous addresses, property ownership, business ownership, aliases, relatives, neighbors, vehicle registrations, professional licenses and many more. You may find some screening companies that claim to provide you with all the information you need. This may not be the case though. There are some data that cannot be accessed though especially when they are not updated. Focus on the data you need the most. Your conversations with your date should be your basis. Whatever he or she tells you, like occupation and name, can be verified through an online dating background screening company.

Related articles
  • Online Detectives Can Unmask Mr. or Ms. Wrong (nytimes.com)

Online Dating 101

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Online dating has its own rules and perils.  If the concept of online dating is new to you, this article will give you some basic information to help you successfully navigate the scene.

To start with, there are different platforms for online dating services.  The most basic is a general online dating service where you can view everyone who has posted a profile.  Samples of this type of general dating sites include FriendFinder, and Match.com.  Then there are relationship-based services that find you a match based on criteria for compatibility.  This type of service is generally for those who take dating and finding a mate more seriously such as sites like eHarmony.  Social networking sites such as Facebook and Friendster are also venues for online dating, although the emphasis is not so much for online dating as it is on networking.  Nevertheless, some users do find relationships through these sites, usually through a mutual friendship.  There are also services who match up people with similar interests.  Niche dating services aim to take advantage of common interests and commonalities such as love for horses, or a certain age group.

If you do decide to take the plunge to online dating, then it is only prudent to exercise caution.  After all, the internet is populated by people of dubious backgrounds and motivations.  Until you know a person really well, it is best to remember that when dealing with strangers, too much caution is better than none.  Here are some pointers for online dating safety.

  1. Don’t give out personal information until you are absolutely sure that the person can be trusted. Information as simple as your full name and home phone number can lead a person to retrieve your complete address.  From there, it is a short journey towards learning where you work, how much you earn, even how much your home is worth.
  2. Trust your instincts.  If something tells you not to go through with something, or you somehow feel as if you can’t let your guard down with a certain person, don’t just disregard it.  Intuition can be a powerful tool, as there are some cues that your subconscious may be picking up on without you being fully aware of it.
  3. Use a dedicated email address just for online dating.  Remember that your email address reflects your full name.  Sign up for a free email address to keep this information private.
  4. Use a cell phone or anonymous phone service for dating-related calls. The same principle applies to keeping your home phone number private, at least until you really get to know a person better.
  5. Never let your guard down.  Though some online dating services may claim to run background checks on everybody, this is not always possible.  It is rather easy for a determined criminal to go through this background checks by using simple evasive strategies.  Don’t get lulled into a false sense of security.

Online dating can pave the way for meeting the right partner.  Still, it is in your best interest to think critically before rushing into anything.  There are thousands of successful online relationships that have ended in long-term commitments such as marriage.  You have to admit though, that even more have ended in crime or disaster.

Joana Chrystal Ventura-Moises is our resident expert on frameless shower doors.  She writes regular posts for websites such as this and Plumbing Point.

Some Tips to Meet the Woman of Your Dreams

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Too many guys stress out over meeting women when it should be a fun and enjoyable experience. This stress stems from the fact that they really have no idea where to start or where to maximize their chances of meeting someone they can really connect with. Indeed, self improvement books and tapes can help a guy improve his inner game, but if he doesn’t have the opportunity to interact with women, what’s the use? Here are some meet single woman tips that will help you meet someone special:

1) Be clear on your expectations. What kind of relationship are you looking for? This will affect your tactics and goals. If you just want a pickup, for instance, you’ll go to different places and do different things than if you want a long term relationship.

2) Know your own interests, and go to places where women with similar interests hang out. This will help you in two ways. In the short term, it will give you conversation starters, something you two share in common and that can help you form a bond. In the long term, if things work out, you’ll be with someone who shares some of your interests.

3) Know your values, and look for a woman who shares them. You don’t want to find someone who believes the total opposite of you in money, politics, children, religion, etc. While it may be stimulating to have arguments at first with your girl, it will eventually get old.

4) The more time you spend interacting with women, the more likely you are to pick up dates and meetings. Think about it as a numbers game. If 10% of women out there are interested in going out with you, you need to meet 10 just to have that chance of meeting that one. Thus, sitting in your home all day won’t get the job done – get yourself out there.

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Subway Coupons Are Better Than Pickup Lines

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There is a fool proof method of using free Subway coupons to meet gorgeous women that I’d like to share with you.  You might be thinking, how does the use of discounts lead to meeting women?  It’s actually a fairly simple principle that can be applied to any store or restaurant where you’ll typically have to stand in somewhat of a single file line.  The main principle behind this method is a random act of kindness, or in this case the perception of a random act.

Think about all the ways you can meet random women.  I’m not talking about being set up by friends.  Just think about scenarios where you see a gorgeous woman however you’re too afraid to approach her because she’s a complete stranger.  All your thoughts will be telling you not to speak with her because she’ll immediately reject you.  The one thing that can be the difference is when you somehow can add value to her life.  A perfect example would be eating out at restaurants.  Often times there are pretty girls who are waitresses.  You have no problem talking with them because there is an implied relationship between server and customer.  It’s her job to be nice to you and it’s your job to eventually give her a tip.  The point of this example is by being a customer you’re adding value to her life which is why you can have free flowing conversations.

How many times can you remember standing in line at Subway either behind or in front of a pretty girl.  You’re afraid to talk to her because you have nothing to say, and thus you aren’t adding value to her life.  Break out a Subway coupon, turn to her and tell her that you have an extra coupon that you’d like to give her.  That random act of kindness will open the door and lower her defenses.  You have to take it from there.

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Online Dating Tips and Advice

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There are so many great online dating tips that will improve your success rate of meeting people online. That’s mainly because it can be an overwhelming and complicated process, especially if you are new to it. Profile writing, sending messages, choosing a picture, and carrying conversation are important aspects of online dating.

Choosing the right site is important to your success. If you are very busy and don’t have the time to put into finding potential dates and matches, you may be interested in choosing one of the algorithm-based dating sites such as eHarmony. If you are adventurous and have the time you can opt for a free site, such as Plentyoffish.

Now that you have your site chosen, here are a number of online dating tips. Firstly, the golden rule of online dating is to make contact. If you don’t introduce yourself to people you’ll never get to go on a date.  Although challenging, over coming your fear of making that initial contact will bring you a long way in the world of online dating. Another great tip is in choosing the right profile picture. You don’t want anything inappropriate but at the same time you want to make sure that you are identifiable and someone can see it. Also, keep conversation short. After your initial contact, you may send a couple messages back and forth to ask questions and build interest but don’t keep it lingering. Once you have decided that the person you’re talking to is a potential date, try to seal the deal. This is usually done by either asking for a date or asking for a phone number. You can make up an excuse saying you are busy and won’t be on and ask for their number. Remember throughout your entire online dating experience – always be respectful of everyone you speak with.

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