The Secret Ingredient that Builds Relationship Health, Happiness and Longevity

Christian Singles

Kindness is “the life” of all healthy relationships, as blood is to the health of the body. Yes, a person can develop strong muscles, cultivate beautiful hair and have the best teeth around–but without healthy blood, it is to no avail; sickness and death are within striking range! The same is true of relationship health. Kindness is needed in abundance for love and respect to flow between the two people and to prevent relationship breakup.

You want your partner to want to be with you, be close to you in all ways, eagerly await your presence–you want a healthy relationship! Then be kind to him or her; instruct your partner to be the same with you. And in so doing, you will avoid many common relationship problems.

Milton Erickson, one the greatest and most creative psychotherapists of modern times, tells the story of a sad and lonely woman that came to him for treatment. She complained she had no friends–none at all. During the interview, she told him she loved to garden. In these words, Ericson found a treatment opportunity.

He told her, “Go back home, grow some African Violets and give them out to your neighbors.” She did. As well, she answered their many questions on how to care for them.

Within a short time, she made many friends. She had merged into her community and become an active member. Erickson understood what she needed–and it wasn’t years of soul searching and time consuming therapy. What she needed, simply, was to behave kindly with others. And so she did, and so she cured her loneliness!

Kindness is as basic as crayons, dolls and Legos. I can prove it!

Let’s go back to school? I don’t mean university, not even high school–how about kindergarten? Think, what happened to children when they were mean–when they bit, hit or stole? Answer: If the offending child didn’t stop, he or she was taken out of the classroom.

That’s just how basic kindness is–it was an absolutely necessity! If you made it through grade school, you knew how to be kind; you know how to get along with others. You may have been imperfect, but you knew enough about kindness to succeed as a citizen of your school! Why should your home be any different?

You want a loving and long lasting relationship with your spouse or partner. You need to be kind to him or her. Here is what to do:

  1. Acknowledge your partner when you see him or her. Use your words or body to express your love and care.
  2. Talk to your partner, inquiring about his or her well being.
  3. Show you care by doing favors; by giving compliments; by being appreciative whenever something is done for you–even (especially) when it is done often!
  4. Be sensitive to your partner’s difficulties and when possible try to help.
  5. Stay in-touch throughout the day. Send a text message; call on the phone; let him or her know you are thinking about them. What you say is not as important as your efforts to connect.
  6. Speak gently, with a comforting voice. If this does not come naturally, then practice until it does.

  7. Hold back criticism / anger and foster acceptance.

  8. When your spouse is upset, be a warm fuzzy and not a cold prickly–even if he or she is upset about you; you are accused of being the source of many relationship problems! Don’t get angry or run off. Rather, ask the question: What can I say or do to help my partner feel better and calm down? Then do it.

The only way your partner will feel your kindness is if your behavior consistently proves it. That’s just the way it is! It is not enough for “you” to think you are kind, or to ‘tell’ your partner you are kind. As it is said, “Actions speak louder than words.”

The opportunities to behave kindly are limitless. The greater your effort, the healthier and happier your relationship will be. Kindness is the magic ingredient that will bring out the best in both of you. This is great relationships advice that will prevent many relationship problems or even total breakdown.

If you have had a kindness deficiency, then I want you to know it will take time to repair the damage and save your relationship from further injury. You can’t remodel a house in a single day. So too, you can’t immediately change around your relationship. When you make a commitment to be kind, give it time.

Be patient like a gardener watching seedlings mature. Be consistent, be determined and your kindness will prevail–your home will become one of love, care and respect.

Kindness is the one thing you can’t get rid of. Why? The more you “give-away,” the more you “get-back.” Being kind is a great investment. The dividends are certain and the gains are great–what could be better than that? So my friend–be kind.

Abe Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T., C.C.H., is a relationship specialist. He is a certified family therapist with the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, and unlike many self-help gurus, he is the real deal. Visit his website: www.GoSmartLife.com

How to Play Hard to Get

Christian Singles

Playing hard to get may seem like a lost art in today’s dating world where it is accepted as normal for women to take the reigns in intimate relationships. This development has seen women in turn pursuing men as opposed to being pursued by men. This cultural shift has led to what many see as a phenomenon. Some women even propose marriage to their partners. Nevertheless studies assert that men are natural born hunters and so they enjoy a good game of pursuing a woman he has deemed worthy of his affections. As such, while one is not suggesting that women have to be prudish and hard heartened, a well played deck of hard to get cards can lead to a man become even more enthralled with the woman he desires to possess. Playing hard to get can add fire and fun to the dating scene and making it a little more interesting. Putting hard to get techniques into practices however is not as unattainable as some may think. It may simply be a matter of reading well into the dating game, having a basic understanding of the psychology of men and holding back a little. The most important part of a successful game of hard to get is that of mystery. Here is how to capture some of that mystery.

  1. The first step in playing hard to get is showing an interest in the other person without appearing to be too eager. This can be done by laughing at jokes, asking and responding to open ended questions and showing positive body language signals such as looking the person in the face/eyes when listening or responding during conversation. The trick here is to appear interested and polite without appearing desperate or needy.
  2. Do not reveal too much about oneself. One trick to playing hard to get, is to not give off enough information about oneself. This is especially true in the early stages of the dating game. Be receptive but remember there will be plenty of time to get to learn more about each other. As such everything, such as the most personal and intimate details of one’s life need not be mentioned.
  3. Keep an active schedule. Remember even though one is dating a person of interest, one does not need to rearrange one’s entire schedule in the hopes that spending time with this new prospect will fill it. Continue to enjoy the activities that one previously did as this will make one appear more purposeful in one’s own life. This will allow the other person to really endeavour to get and keep one’s attention. This will give the impression that one has a life of one’s own and as such one’s attention is hard to come by.

Tips and Warnings

  • Although playing hard to get is generally used by women to attract men. Both men and women can put the principles of playing hard to get into practice. However, if both persons are playing hard to get, it can become a frustrating situation where both parties seem to be getting nowhere.
  • It is assumed before playing hard to get that the persons involved are at the very least dating and are interested in further intimacy.
  • There is a fine line between being hard to get and being seen as unavailable. Persons should tread this line very carefully so as to not cause the other party to lose interest in the prospects of furthering relations.

Leslie O’Neill writes Dating Tips for Guys and Dating Tips for Girls.

Cheap First-Date Ideas

Christian Singles

When considering going on a date with someone for the first time, dinner and the movies is a safe choice. While this is a nice idea, it can become costly due to the rising cost for movies and depending on the restaurant. Not only can this date be expensive, it can also be very predictable. Getting some inspiration for first date ideas can help you stand out to your date and make the day or night one to remember. In order to choose the perfect location or activity, it is important that you take into consideration the interests and personality of your date.

Outdoor activities are a great idea for a date if you and your date enjoy being active. A nice thing about these kinds of dates is that they are often very affordable and occasionally free. Taking a scenic hike up a mountain or by a lake can make a memorable date that is very romantic. Even a nice bike ride can make a wonderful date and be very inexpensive. Instead of thinking that you need to spend a lot of money for a date to be enjoyable, you can head outdoors and have a great time.

Many cities host free concerts and movies at the park during the warm summer months. Taking advantage of these free activities can help you and your date have a memorable time. Checking out your city’s calendar and seeing what events are coming up can help you plan the perfect date that is sure to be remembered for a long time to come. Even local museums are often free, allowing you impress your date with some culture and art without spending a dime. Following this kind of date with a nice meal is a smart way to impress your date.

Finding discounts on fun activities in your city can help you host a great date with a new special someone. Ice skating rinks often having discounts during certain times or days of the week, allowing you to snag a great deal. Movies also hold special discounts for matinee showings, making it very affordable to take your date out to the movies. Taking the time to check out events and restaurants that are discounted in your city and nearby will help you find great ideas to surprise your date with.

Taking a special somebody on a date doesn’t need to leave you broke at the end. While it is important to be thoughtful with choosing the location and activity, you can often find great deals or even go for free on a date. It is important to consider the interests of your date, as some people love being outdoors and others love relaxing with a glass of wine. Checking out the options in your local area will help you determine what kind of date would be the best fit for your date. Remaining patient to consider any discounts on local activities and free museums or even hikes can be a great way to set up a memorable date.

Post by Holly Adams, a writer for Coupon Croc. Looking for the perfect first date outfit? Save with an Asos discount code when you shop for clothes online.

How to Be Romantic

Single Parent Dating

Raising kids and holding down a job can put a damper on anyone’s love life, but these tips on how to be romantic are designed as simple suggestions for rekindling a bit of the old passion. And even if you’re not married with children, you’ll find the ideas listed below worth trying out.

Five Suggestions for Being Romantic

Give Flowers – Guys will usually do this for Valentine’s Day, but giving flowers for no reason is even more romantic. There are a number of services that specialize in delivering roses, but bringing them yourself can be even more meaningful.

Frequent Eye Contact – Try staring into the eyes of your partner without saying a word. This simple gesture can speak volumes.

Doing Chores – While it may not be sexy, helping out around the house can be a romantic gesture in its own right.

Saying “I Love You” – When your partner least expects it, lean over and whisper “I love you.” When it comes to being romantic, there’s nothing more powerful than those three little words.

Candlelight – Atmosphere and romance often go hand in hand, so turn off the lights and fire up some candles.

More Tips for Increasing the Romance in Your Life

Poetry – Writing your partner a heartfelt love poem is a great way to express your emotions. If you run into too many problems, you can always recite works from the masters. I suggest Lord Byron and Shakespeare.

Unexpected Kisses – Getting kissed is popular with either gender, so surprise your partner with a kiss on the neck or mouth. One short kiss could lead to many more.

Holding Hands – We all held hands with our date when we were teenagers, but who says you have to stop when you’re an adult?

Steamy Movies – If there are no kids around, curl up on the sofa and pop in a steamy DVD to set the mood. I suggest films such as Body Heat and Wild Things.

The Power of Music – Have you ever put together a compilation of romantic songs for your significant other? Try it again and see what happens. Nostalgia can be a powerful tool.

Everyone has an idea of how to be romantic, but they often forget to follow through. I hope the tips in this article can serve as a gentle reminder of how easy it can be. The next time you’re alone with your significant other, give one or more of these a try. You may be surprised, and delighted, by what happens next.

Violet Van Cleef writes for the Deliver Roses website. Many of her articles are geared towards people who want to become a florist.

How To Woo And Seduce A Woman

Christian Singles

How to seduce a woman? It can be quite a challenge, considering women are complicated creatures. However, by following the right steps (and paying close attention to her responses), you won’t have to rely on good looks alone to interest the female gender. Though it helps!

The first thing you must have is confidence. If you cannot see your attractive traits, why would she? Women like confident men who are unafraid and can deal with rejection. It is a common belief that women are attracted to “bad boys” over good guys, but this is not completely true. Women are attracted to the confidence most of those bad boys exude.

Next, talk with her. Appeal to her intellect while helping her enjoy the conversation, as well. Making a woman laugh is key to seduction. However, do not insult her, or anything she enjoys or defends. This will be an instant turn-off. Find out what she is interested in, and try to steer the conversation towards that.

Another crucial step is complimenting her. Every woman enjoys being complimented, but be sincere in your compliments. If you are phony or false in any of your compliments, she will know, and will not respond well. Find something unique about her, and tell her how much you love it. It could be her eyes, her hair, her lips, or pretty much anything. She will see you are being sincere, and she will be flattered and feel appreciated.

Physical contact is also important. Just holding her hand or placing your hand on the small of her back will trigger her passion. When done correctly, physically touching a woman lets her know you’re interested in her for more than a casual friendship.
It does not take anything learn how to seduce a woman. Just follow the guidelines stated above, and you will have appealed to both her mind and body.

Top Five Most Romantic Cities

Christian Singles

There are many reasons to travel, whether it’s the annual family summer holiday, or a romantic getaway with just your spouse, the destination must match the occasion. It’s true that many of the most popular vacation destinations in the world cater to all kinds of travelers, but there are a few that offer the best experience possible for those in search of Romance. Whether it’s your Honeymoon, or just an escape from every day life, choosing the most romantic destination can make the difference in your holiday experience. The best backdrop for lovers on vacation will of course depend on several factors, however, there are several that are by far the most coveted. Here are just the top five cities that have been considered the most romantic travel destinations in the world.

1) Venice, Italy: this is likely not a surprise for many, but this city is well known for it’s romantic setting for a reason. It doesn’t get more iconic than taking a ride down the canals, sitting at a quaint cafe, and admiring the picturesque skyline. This city offers a broad range of experiences for all kinds of couples. Whether you’re the active, sightseeing type, or the relaxed and leisurely kind. All couples will fall in love all over again in Venice.

2) Prague, Czech Republic: now this one, on the other hand, may be a surprise. This historical capital has much to offer, which explains it’s growing popularity as a coveted European destination. Much like many other favorite cities in Europe, Prague offers the iconic look and feel you’d come to expect from Europe. Everything from stunning cathedrals, to a romantic river cruises, to delicious cuisine can be found here. In fact, one of the most beautiful cafes in the world is in Prague, the Imperial Cafe; this cafe is so famous, it has appeared in a vast number of movies.

3) Paris, France: this city is often related with romance and love, and once you go and experience it in person, you’ll know why. The size and splendor of Paris is unrivaled, with many picturesque sites, along with quiet streets and parks to lose yourself in. You can have it all here, from romantic, candle lit dinners, to picnics in the park. You can find excitement, and privacy, in this city designed for lovers.

4) Lisbon, Portugal: many find busy capitals anything but romantic, but Lisbon is another European exception. With iconic trams, cobblestone streets, ocean views, shopping and more, you can have a little bit of everything in this Portuguese capital. Breath taking views can be found on hill tops through out the city, and the abundance of delicious, local wines are sure to set the mood.

5) Florence, Italy: don’t be surprised that two Italian cities made the list, as many could easily fill all five positions with this romantic country’s cities. Whether it’s the sprawling countryside, or the city’s center, Italy provides couples with the atmosphere and environment they’re craving for romance. Florence has the restaurants, sights, history, and charm that you’ve always been looking for on your romantic getaway.

This post was written by Sara Woods from Mega.co.uk. Take a look at their Low cost holidays before you book any romantic breaks.