How to Play Hard to Get

Playing hard to get may seem like a lost art in today’s dating world where it is accepted as normal for women to take the reigns in intimate relationships. This development has seen women in turn pursuing men as opposed to being pursued by men. This cultural shift has led to what many see as a phenomenon. Some women even propose marriage to their partners. Nevertheless studies assert that men are natural born hunters and so they enjoy a good game of pursuing a woman he has deemed worthy of his affections. As such, while one is not suggesting that women have to be prudish and hard heartened, a well played deck of hard to get cards can lead to a man become even more enthralled with the woman he desires to possess. Playing hard to get can add fire and fun to the dating scene and making it a little more interesting. Putting hard to get techniques into practices however is not as unattainable as some may think. It may simply be a matter of reading well into the dating game, having a basic understanding of the psychology of men and holding back a little. The most important part of a successful game of hard to get is that of mystery. Here is how to capture some of that mystery.

  1. The first step in playing hard to get is showing an interest in the other person without appearing to be too eager. This can be done by laughing at jokes, asking and responding to open ended questions and showing positive body language signals such as looking the person in the face/eyes when listening or responding during conversation. The trick here is to appear interested and polite without appearing desperate or needy.
  2. Do not reveal too much about oneself. One trick to playing hard to get, is to not give off enough information about oneself. This is especially true in the early stages of the dating game. Be receptive but remember there will be plenty of time to get to learn more about each other. As such everything, such as the most personal and intimate details of one’s life need not be mentioned.
  3. Keep an active schedule. Remember even though one is dating a person of interest, one does not need to rearrange one’s entire schedule in the hopes that spending time with this new prospect will fill it. Continue to enjoy the activities that one previously did as this will make one appear more purposeful in one’s own life. This will allow the other person to really endeavour to get and keep one’s attention. This will give the impression that one has a life of one’s own and as such one’s attention is hard to come by.

Tips and Warnings

  • Although playing hard to get is generally used by women to attract men. Both men and women can put the principles of playing hard to get into practice. However, if both persons are playing hard to get, it can become a frustrating situation where both parties seem to be getting nowhere.
  • It is assumed before playing hard to get that the persons involved are at the very least dating and are interested in further intimacy.
  • There is a fine line between being hard to get and being seen as unavailable. Persons should tread this line very carefully so as to not cause the other party to lose interest in the prospects of furthering relations.

Leslie O’Neill writes Dating Tips for Guys and Dating Tips for Girls.


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