If you’re looking for love there are a few separate methods you could use to go about it. You can go and hang out in bars every weekend looking for members of the opposite (or the same, it’s all the same to me) sex, you can go to evening classes, speed dating and dating websites. They all have their pros and cons, going to bars means you might meet drunk potential partners, your first meeting is a shouted conversation in the middle of a dance floor and in the morning you can’t remember their name. If you go meeting people at classes you have a common interest but not every-one’s there looking for love and relationships, some are there because they genuinely want to learn so you might put many of your best moves onto some-one who’s happily married with 4 perfect children, a perfect house and job and not even slightly interested in some-one who’s still hungover from going out on the pull the night before.
Dating websites are an interesting blend of the two; people are there because they are interested in making a connection but they’re not drunk, being chased by a herd of other people, deafened by the music or dashing off to the toilet every five minutes.
If you’re savvy in your selection you can find a great deal of people who you might want to meet up with but of course dating sites, just like any other means of meeting new partners, has its drawbacks and pitfalls.
There are the people who use very old photos of themselves, twenty years younger and as many pounds lighter. When they arrive at the date you think they’ve sent their parent in advance to size you up.
Then there are the people who say what they think people want to hear, the caring sensitive guys who have had one previous partner, have their own three bedroom house, a job which pays them several hundred thousand a year along with three holidays. When you meet them they’ve divorced from the only woman who’d ever have had them, they now live back with their mum and they’re regarded as being the dull one in their accountancy firm.
The problem is that when you’re meeting anyone in whatever scenario it’s necessary to invest a little trust in a stranger. You’ve got to increase the karma by being as transparent in your own dating profile as you can and hope that other people will be too. You can, of course, do a little research to make sure your prospective date is on the up and up though. There’s nothing wrong with Facebook stalking. Well there is but in this instance, where you’re simply finding out a little more about them any information that they’ve made public is fair game.
Some people worry about fraud and theft when it comes to dating websites too, although they really shouldn’t; fortunately for the Honest Joe on the internet the fraud on dating websites and other forms of social media is so transparent it’s laughable. Some people are so gullible as to be taken in by these scams but they’re the same people who still stare in awe at aeroplanes and shout at the full moon. If you haven’t ever seen one of their messages, they say a whole bunch of things that are irrelevant to your description of yourself and yet come over as very emotional, offering love and commitment very early on. Unfortunately for these poor lovelorn mites they live in a far-away land so if they’re going to come over and fall into your arms and the perfect domestic idyll you’re going to have to send them some money, oh, and their poor silver haired mother needs hospital treatment and of course that’s very expensive… If you’re still not sure they’ll also ask you to reply to a different address to the one they’re writing from. This is because they’ll have hacked a real person’s address in order to avoid detection. If you see anything like this report it to the site’s webmaster, they won’t want to risk getting a reputation for carrying such material.
If you do find some-one lovely, don’t waste time emailing them for week after week, you’re there to date, not find a pen-pal!
Dan Cash has had some patchy experiences with online dating. there are a few UK dating websites he’d use, and some he’d never touch again!
- A Great Date And He Was Cute, Too (singleonlinedating.org)
- Getting Started In Online Dating: Finding a Site and Starting a Profile (singleonlinedating.org)