Okay, so it is not official but it might as well be, meeting a potential someone online is just as hard as in the real world. In fact, in some areas it is even harder, especially if you are one of us girls that is usually invited to bring life into the party and not because our looks bring men to the party. I am not saying we are ugly, just that our charm comes from a combination of areas that are hard to express in a profile and picture. In the real world, you make eye contact, say hello and basically know if you want to continue the dance or excuse yourself. With online dating the variables are different and the interpretation is quite easy to slant. One of the biggest online dating mistakes is in this area, interpreting what you are reading. Most people have heard someone say “you only hear what you want to hear”, well this is cyber similar. A person reads a profile and either thinks from those 250 words they know the person in great depth, or totally believes what they read is saying something entirely different. When reading a profile, hear what they are saying, if he says he is not comfortable in large groups, do not hear, that taking him to your company Christmas party is not what he is talking about so that will be okay.
While I am on the subject, other online dating mistakes include the phony picture; just because it is you, does not mean it is okay to post a 10 year old picture when you had hair. Additionally, do not send more than one icebreaking “wink” or comment such as “I am interested in you”, if I respond or “wink” back, then do not send it again, follow it up with some kind of written words. However, do not immediately send your life story, your “how and why I hate my ex” saga, or your long list of what you expect from me and your dreams for us. Keep it short, fun and interesting, ask me a question I will want to answer or open a door for further communication.
The ultimate mistake is made by men and women alike. This mistake is created when you dismiss the person on the picture alone. If you have spent the time involved to get to the picture part, then go ahead and read what they have written. You just might not see the sparkle in their eye until you have heard what they stand for, you might have over looked the beauty in their face because you have not given yourself the chance to see the beauty they possess within.
- The Perils of Online Dating and Talking About Broken Marriages with the New York Times (blogs.forbes.com)